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news
Jan EtheringtonJan Etherington: Because of Andrew Mitchell it's okay to hate cyclists again
Well, it had to happen. The chief whip Andrew Mitchell's verbal abuse of a police officer for refusing to opening the Downing Street gates is not an indictment of his character but, of course, all down to the bike he was riding.
Who thinks so? Jan Etherington thinks so. In a similar vein to Richmond Magazine editor Richard Nye, Etherington seems only too pleased that she's been fed a line to re-ignite her hate of all things two-wheeled after the cycling love-in of the summer of 2012.
"We got rather fond of cyclists this summer. Bradley Wiggins, with his sideboards [sic], on his throne at Hampton Court, lovely Victoria Pendleton and those stoic girls who cycled through storms," she begins, before referencing the velodrome and revealing that she even thought about buying a bike herself, shock horror. But that all changed when Mitchell started swearing, we learn.
"Everyone loses their temper once in a while, but nobody loses their temper more often than a bike rider," she asserts, pausing to back up that claim with nothing other than her own prejudice.
From then on it's just a weary descent into the same old clichés and stereotypes that always get dragged out for phoned-in angry-of-suburbia pieces like this. Let's go through them again. We know, it's boring.
Cyclists are arrogant: "We are lesser mortals: they look down their noses, from their elevated position on those wince-inducing saddles, on us poor saps, munching cheeseburgers in our nice warm cars."
Cyclists are dangerous: "They have absolutely no spatial awareness of anything that isn’t passing them on two wheels... you’re likely to be knocked down by these neon Lycra louts… you’ll be overtaken by a hurricane of metal and luminous leggings careering past within inches of your elbows"
Cyclists are inconsiderate: "Swearing at us locals for daring to traverse our own roads at anything less than a sprint… too many cyclists think that being disguised as a lumpy glowworm means they can behave like spoilt brats"
Cyclists look stupid: "I think it’s the sheer embarrassment of the outfits they have to wear that makes many of these cyclists so bad-tempered. I’m sure they can hear the mocking laughter of onlookers whenever they whizz past, flashing their glistening, logo-strewn limbs"
All of this because of one person – one person, incidentally, who doesn't fit any of the stereotypes above – who called a police officer a pleb and happened to be on a bike at the time. Jan has an answer for that though, as she then turns her attention to the chief whip. He wasn't wearing a helmet, which is clearly a crime, but she suspects that "beneath his façade lurks a Lycra lout, squirming in a bodysuit of wasp yellow… No wonder Mitchell was in such a hurry to pedal off – it was before he turned green and split his trousers."
Etherington signs off with, "the Chief Whip punctured all the post-Olympian goodwill we felt towards cyclists, in one foul swoop," as if, firstly, she speaks for the nation and, secondly, she had any goodwill towards cyclists in the first place, which is clearly unlikely for all her protestations that she was on the cusp of getting on to two wheels herself.
It's a breathtaking leap of logic to conclude that the actions of one man - high profile or not - who wasn't let through a gate are the arbiter of a nation's feeling towards his mode of transport at that time.
We don't recall the same argument ever being used by Etherington of cars when Harriet Harman was prosecuted for crashing her car while talking on her mobile phone in 2009. After that incident a witness reported that Miss Harman wound down her window and said: "I'm Harriet Harman, you know where you can get me." This on top of a speeding fine in 2007, and a seven-day ban in 2003 for speeding at nearly 100mph on a motorway. Such behaviour should clearly, in Jan's eyes, negate any good feeling towards driving that may have been generated by the success of the likes of Lewis Hamilton and Jenson Button. But on this topic she has been strangely silent. Or perhaps we missed her article.
For more on attitudes towards cyclists, read Cartlon Reid's excellent polemic: Why must cyclists behave before they get bike paths?
Dave is a founding father of road.cc, having previously worked on Cycling Plus and What Mountain Bike magazines back in the day. He also writes about e-bikes for our sister publication ebiketips. He's won three mountain bike bog snorkelling World Championships, and races at the back of the third cats.
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57 comments
Talking of Shakespeare: it's 'fell swoop' not 'foul swoop' so she's a poor journalist as well as ill informed. I must get out more..
Editor: "Jan, give me 2,000 words of your usual vitriole-laced prose, but tie it into something topical."
Jan: {thinks} Well, I don't like cyclists and I did read that Mr Mitchell was on a bike for Gategate... {/thinks}
"Give me ten mins, boss and I'll have a piece for you!"
Ahem, the Highway Code states that you should not ride more than 2 abreast. Wow! A cyclist that knows the Highway Code. Whatever next??
Hi Jan, haven't you got tomorrows column to write? I heard everyone's got a bit fed up of all those newly smug disabled people know the olympics are over, maybe you can go and riff on that one dear.
you can imagine the conflict - possibly coupled with a hot flush - that brought about this parasitic attempt at publicity; "well I can't hate him because he's a tory, or an upper class nob, or because he called the policeman a pleb - because we all know that they really are frightful commoners - so there must be something else I can get a slice of the action on... oh yes...!"
If you heeded her rationale you'd hate all Germans because of Hitler, all people from Manchester because of the 'name withheld' lunatic gunman who murdered two police officers, all people from Glasgow because you were offended by Frankie Boyle, all people who work at Subway because you had a bad sarnie there one day, all people who ride the bus because a kid flagged you off one day.....
Bandwagon jumping pleb, glad she didn't get a bike or we'd have an article about how terrible all car drivers are after getting a close pass. And she would have been the first person ever to suffer that I'm sure, and would have explained her ordeal at length in her puff piece about it.
she's just trying to be trendy by trolling
SHE'S ON RADIO 2 NOW!!!!
Wowo. If I looked like that woman I'd not be basing my entire schtick around other people not looking too good.
Hey, at least she's funny though, right?
full marks to wiganwill for his comment...
+10, absolutely spot on, I have pasted here because it's worth seeing:
"We got rather fond of people with disabilities this summer. Oscar Pistorius with his carbon legs, lovely Sarah Storey and those stoic girls who rode round in circles. They and their Paralympics colleagues brought home medals, with charm and cheerfulness, and changed our view of people with disabilities for the better. But then along bowled Abu Hamza and, with his petulant attempt to avoid extradition, reminded us all of Everything We Hate About People With Disabilities."
Anyway, for what it's worth there are currently 60 comments and a good 59 of them are telling her like it is.
Unfortunately she will likely consider this a good day's work for a professional troll.
It's all a load of bollox...however, I am a cyclist and a motorist, but guess what I hate most cyclists. The reason is because typically they (from what I've seen) do jump red lights, do ride on pavements, will insist on always riding abreast, hardly ever stop to let cars by on narrow lanes, very rarely indicate to turn and seldom return a greeting when you are cycling or running yourself. Thats just me though and my opinion!
I must admit though, cycling has made me a better motorist!
Unfortunately it's not just you. It's people like you who make broad sweeping statements about how "they typically do..." and "they rarely...". Almost all the cyclists I ride with DON'T jump red lights, DO indicate clearly, DO say please and thankyou.
And yes, occasionally I'll ride abreast. It's legal, it's safer a lot of the time, and if I am in someone's way I'll get out of it as soon as it's safe to do so.
Many people on here are cyclists and drivers. The fact that any of us is a cyclist or a driver doesn't give us any right to start throwing around comments starting with "Most cyclists..." or "Most drivers..." in the same way you wouldn't start with "Most women..." or "Most Indians...". It's those sorts of statements in the hands of twatty journalists that end up leading to stereotypes and bad attitudes towards one group or another.
So unless you actually know and can speak for "Most cyclists", just shut up and concentrate on the improvements you're making on your driving.
Exactly!
Nicely put
Well said!
"Hate..."
"Typically they..."
Oh dear.
What a strange comment? Riding 2 abreast is legal, I would have hoped that you as a 'cyclist' would know that. Every week on our club run we will get at least one car overtaking us shouting abuse claiming its illegal to ride two abreast. As for pulling in on narrow lanes we do that too but at a convenient time, you would think that following a group for a couple of mins until a convenient place to pull in was the end of the world!
The pavement and red light comments clearly aren't true, but even if they were I wouldn't 'hate' the wrongdoers, or all cyclist for that matter.
Coincidently I drive a car too, what are the chances eh?
And I'm sure you, sir, are of course the perfect cyclist.
In all seriousness though, if you do indeed hate the majority of cyclists as you say you do; why then choose to engage with a social platform designed to bring the so-called red-light jumping, pavement-riding, never-indicating grumpy bastards together?! Surely your time would be better spent polishing your car and your ego elsewhere...
Stupid cow i hope she gets piles and thats being polite.
Jan needn't worry. Judging by the pass I got from a bus last week, and the driving around me in yesterday's inclement weather, a large proportion of British drivers weren't waiting for an "ok".
sigh .....
Tune in to Radio2 now! Jeremy Vine just said "intolerance of cyclists" - so I'm guessing the lines at the BBC must be jammed already! Can't wait for the rants!
"Everyone loses their temper once in a while, but nobody loses their temper more often than a bike rider."
SWOOSH - There goes the sweeping statement.
Jan, you're deffinately testing my patience.
Because of the Daily Telegraph article it's OK to hate Jan Etherington.
She is a complete and utter tosser. Enough said.
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