We have a winner! Eurobike the day before they open the doors Colnago caption competition…

OK, so who put the fancy new Italian Ironing Board covers on incorrectly???

Colnago reveal next years Fantasy Cycling prizes....bike covers.

Unveiling Colnago's new procycling team...The Seven Dwarves!

"The pit is completely enclosed and it's full of leathery objects, like eggs or something! There's a layer of mist just covering the eggs that reacts when broken"

"Wait a minute, there's movement. It seems to have life, organic life."

Colnago - pushing the envelope.

Thomas couldn't help thinking that the Colnago designers had somewhat missed 'le point' when he was suggesting he needed something more stealth like to beat Cadel and those pesky Schlecks next July.......

The trend for hiding cabling is taken to the limit. Colnago are now even hiding the bikes.

Colnago should've gone to Specsavers

With a rather fetching black ensemble, the winner of this years Eurobike’s best dressed bike award goes to........COLNAGO

shhhhh! they're sleeping!

Europcar decided to keep Thomas Voeckler's 2012 Tour De France win in the bag. So did Colnago.

Colnago unveil worlds largest 'Space Invader' styled track pump with huge footbase for extra stability - this also doubles as an overnight 'trouser press' for that pin sharp crease down your favourite bib knickers!

Hmm, looks like they've already got the bikes sorted - this year they must be showing off their bike stands. Those covers are clearly to simulate massive crosswinds (just add a desk fan), and look, none of their bikes have fallen over

I knew my "caustic contribution" was too long (and probably too caustic) to win. How about this pithier version:

Colnago: Making conspicuous consumption just a little less conspicuous.

psst. Are we there yet?

The new Colnago fancing panels, to deter rioters in central London...Not cheap, but who can put a price on safety.

Due to the recession. Colnago couldn't afford super sexy models to drape over their new range of sleek machines. All they could afford was a bunch of old bags.

Introducing . . . Colnago propane grills!

The joint venture with the Milan fashion house, still had some issue's regarding the models for the catwalk show.

'bikes what bikes? no they're erm new novelty ironing board covers!' a Colnago rep was heard explaining.

They forgot to pack the bikes?

Could we beeeee anymore colnago !!!!!

ah hidden away is the new colnago "austerity" we can only dream.

for some people, having Colnago stamped on your bags is highly appealing.

for some people, having Colnago stamped on your bags is highly appealing.

surely they have hit on the additional profit of "add on sales" and they are just exhibiting a new range of bike covers?

tut

excitable bike journos...

Clearly a there is a real threat from groups of bored pigeons, who have no stake in society, probably using Facebook to co-ordinate their attacks. I blame the parents.

Concern mounts when the press kit includes a doppio sacchetto

Obviously an electric-powered midget bike for rest-day shenanigans. Either that or Ricco's trying to sign himself up under his 2 year old son's name and is using props to try and make it more convincing....