Support road.cc

Like this site? Help us to make it better.

Ah- haasaaa

https://www.theguardian.com/culture/2019/aug/13/alan-partridge-saves-ste...

Whatever next! 

So my next gig is all about my character driving around (a Lexus wasn’t it?) doing Alan meets... or whatever.  Oh, I know what, no-one’ll notice if a speed down this road with my 9 points already accumulated.  

I think it would be easy to create Alan a chauffeur character, he could have a minor accident meaning he can’t drive for a while, or indeed be serving a ban. -which we won’t talk about. The guy would be Carl, Des or Les, taciturn, grumpy and with a dark side to him hinted at.  

Clearly he thinks Alan is completely awful as any sort of entertainer, we see the conversation going in fits and starts, then fizzling out at the start of each trip, Carl/Des/Les putting Alan in his place. 

 

If you're new please join in and if you have questions pop them below and the forum regulars will answer as best we can.

Add new comment

14 comments

Avatar
Philh68 | 4 years ago
2 likes

Michael Caine managed to do both “Alfie” and “The Italian Job” and couldn’t drive. Sorry Coogan but the excuse doesn’t wash… and a travelogue of Britain, yawn. Like “The Trip” would have been any less dull if done in character. The court might have done everyone a favour if they’d given you an enforced holiday, the time off might help you find an original idea.

Avatar
captain_slog replied to Philh68 | 4 years ago
0 likes

Philh68 wrote:

Michael Caine managed to do both “Alfie” and “The Italian Job” and couldn’t drive.

He didn't have to. He was only supposed to blow the bloody doors off.

(Couldn't help it. Fetching coat now.)

Avatar
Philh68 replied to captain_slog | 4 years ago
0 likes

captain_slog wrote:

He didn't have to. He was only supposed to blow the bloody doors off.

(Couldn't help it. Fetching coat now.)

yes, but at the end he said “hang on lads, I’ve got an idea”. The ones who did drive had no idea…

Avatar
Simon E | 4 years ago
1 like

If this dangerous arsehole who has a net worth of $12 million can afford a Porsche (or probably 3 or 4) then he can pay for a driver too. It would be claimed on his business expenses so wouldn't be taxed.

The show would go on, the roads would be a little safer and only the greedy taxman public services funded from the taxes we pay would be any worse off.

Avatar
ktache | 4 years ago
3 likes

What I would have liked to have seen, apart from the relevant ban for this man's complete inability to demonstrate his skills of being able to control a motor vehicle in a legal manner, even with the knowledge of having 9 points already on his licence, would have been to perhaps accept the ridiculous "hardship" argument, but with the provision that the points given in this particular lawlessness were "golden" points and that until they had disappeared from his licence any instance of being caught whilst driving in an illegal manner would result in an instant 2 year ban.

But driving, it's a right not a privilege.

Avatar
David9694 | 4 years ago
0 likes

Happy to be corrected by those in the know but isn’t it a regular feature in showbiz that planned shows get bumped, dropped, etc all the time? No-one would have gone hungry, they’d just move on to the next job.  

Nice job, Mr Loophole.

again happy to be corrected, but Bond did fly into space, right? One of the nicest things my mum did for me, taking me to see that and TSWLM the year before.

M: now Bond, we’ve heard  SPEUCTRE are threatening to hold back all the UK’s food and medical supplies - but we can’t give into their demands. Go to Calais and get to the bottom of it and quickly Bond. Q has arranged for you to be airlifted in, and Moneypenny has your blue passport...well, nearly.” 

...and we’ve just heard that he’s checked-in and has ordered room service.

 

 

Avatar
alansmurphy | 4 years ago
1 like

He's at the Chiswick roundabout!

Avatar
Awavey | 4 years ago
6 likes

And yet it would be so much more fitting & funnier as part of the series that Partridge was banned from driving during his driving travelogue series, you could devote entire sketches to his obvious frustrations about it with Lynn driving him around and how the tv crew have to work around it, like the episode when they dropped the cow on him as hes making that river cruise promotional style gag.

Or its television you just out fake it !!!! unless he really thinks Roger Moore did actually fly into space in a Moonraker

Avatar
mrml replied to Awavey | 4 years ago
1 like

Awavey wrote:

 Or its television you just out fake it !!!! unless he really thinks Roger Moore did actually fly into space in a Moonraker

 

STOP GETTING BOND WRONG!!!

Avatar
cougie replied to Awavey | 4 years ago
2 likes

Awavey wrote:

And yet it would be so much more fitting & funnier as part of the series that Partridge was banned from driving during his driving travelogue series, you could devote entire sketches to his obvious frustrations about it with Lynn driving him around and how the tv crew have to work around it,

 

Lynn having to drive him round would be brilliant. Much funnier.

 

Clearly the magistrate hasn't watched the show. 

Avatar
quiff | 4 years ago
3 likes

Oops, just posted a duplicate thread on this. The "hardship" seems to have been that other people had been booked to work the show, and they would miss out on work if it was cancelled. I'd have thought if that was the case they may be able to sue Steve for causing a driving based show to be cancelled by incurring a driving ban.   

Avatar
brooksby | 4 years ago
1 like

The Grauniad wrote:

He said his Baby Cow production company has lined up between 15 and 20 staff to work on the series and they would struggle to find alternative work if he cancelled at short notice.

The court heard the actor ... had attended a drivers awareness course just two months ago.

...

Ann Schroder, the chair of the magistrates bench, said they had taken into account the “exceptional hardship” it would cause other TV professionals if the series had to be cancelled. She told Coogan: “We have also taken into account your driving record, which is not very good.”

Magistrates gave him three penalty points and disqualified him from driving for two months. They also fined him £750 with £85 court costs and a £75 victim surcharge.

Bear in mind he already had nine points on his licence, and a history of speeding...  And they say celebrities have a hard life 

Avatar
David9694 | 4 years ago
5 likes

Stretched, used more creatively, and it was only 36 in a 30, after all, what’s 20%?

having said that, in allowing the shorter ban, I’d be prepared to accept a suitsbly worded public apology in this case, he’s a celeb, it would get noticed and reported. 

But hard to think of any alleged exceptional hardship that you couldn’t counter with a “you should have thought of that first, Mr Speedy”. 

Avatar
brooksby | 4 years ago
5 likes

I read this story earlier. Is it me or is the definition of "extreme hardship "getting stretched further and further...?

Latest Comments