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Almost at Crisis Point…

So I sked for 'inspiration' back in December or something.  Since then, I can't have cycled into London more than three or four times.   I'm putting on weight and getting more and more down.

I know that this sedentary lifestyle is killing me.  I just don't care.

(and no .. please don't go 'alerting the authorties' or whatnot. I have no intention whatsoever of 'doing something silly')

How in the name of hell am I supposed to get out of this rut?

If you're new please join in and if you have questions pop them below and the forum regulars will answer as best we can.

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43 comments

Avatar
ktache | 5 years ago
1 like

I do hope that the improving weather and warmth are helping a bit.  It's making me itchy to get out and ride.

Avatar
brooksby | 5 years ago
2 likes

How are you doing, cycle.london?  Has anything improved/changed?

Avatar
cycle.london replied to brooksby | 5 years ago
5 likes

brooksby wrote:

How are you doing, cycle.london?  Has anything improved/changed?

Very much appreciate you asking, mate.  Nothing different.   Well, I've lost a bit of weight, and am now at 18 stone 10, which for a 6'3" bloke, still puts me into the 'obese' BMI. 

But the other half and I have decided to do a Europe tour in June.  We're going to get a ferry to Dunkirk and then cycle to Bruges.   Four nights there, cycle home. 

Hopefully, that'll inspire me to get off my lazy arse.

Avatar
brooksby replied to cycle.london | 5 years ago
0 likes

cycle.london wrote:

brooksby wrote:

How are you doing, cycle.london?  Has anything improved/changed?

Very much appreciate you asking, mate.  Nothing different.   Well, I've lost a bit of weight, and am now at 18 stone 10, which for a 6'3" bloke, still puts me into the 'obese' BMI. 

But the other half and I have decided to do a Europe tour in June.  We're going to get a ferry to Dunkirk and then cycle to Bruges.   Four nights there, cycle home. 

Hopefully, that'll inspire me to get off my lazy arse.

Based on what you've told us and what I've read here, I don't think anyone thinks you're being lazy...  Not sure if that helps.

Avatar
HoarseMann | 5 years ago
0 likes

This is not the best time of year to get enthused about cycling. It’s been a throroughly drab winter down south. Your handful of rides into work matches my recent strava activity!

Rather than cycling into work, why not get an adult scooter or skateboard and combine with the train (have a look at Decathlon)? Could get out at lunchtime for some fresh air and a bit of excercise, without having the faff of all the cycling kit.

If working from home, make sure you get out for a walk at lunch. Listen to a podcast or audiobook. Something like https://drchatterjee.com/the-stress-solution/

or find your ikigai https://medium.com/thrive-global/ikigai-the-japanese-secret-to-a-long-an...

If the doctor prescribes you some head meds, be aware it can take a while to find the one that works for you. I’ve had to try four different ones before settling on sertraline (and the branded version at that, as the generic caused problems).

As for the Dunwich Dynamo, just do it, it’s good to have a goal. Any riding you do beforehand is a bonus - it’ll be an adventure whether you race there with the fast riders or bail out half-way after a few pub stops!

Avatar
Rick_Rude | 5 years ago
2 likes

Happiness is an odd thing. My mate earns £100k a year, buys whatever he wants, goes on holiday where he pleases and he's a miserable twat most of the time and says I have better life than him because I have a wife and child.

On the flip side I earn less than average wage and am always hitting the calcuator before I spend money and think he's got the life of Riley. But then again I guess his emptiness is probably related to being single and childless and maybe the fact that there's no challenge for anything unless he started to want Ferraris or something daft. Other than expensive cars he can just buy what he wants at the drop of a hat. When he bought a mountain bike, I'd be hitting ebay for used stuff but he can just walk into any Evans and just walk away with a bike. 

 

Avatar
check12 replied to Rick_Rude | 5 years ago
5 likes

Rick_Rude wrote:

Happiness is an odd thing. My mate earns £100k a year, buys whatever he wants, goes on holiday where he pleases and he's a miserable twat most of the time and says I have better life than him because I have a wife and child.

On the flip side I earn less than average wage and am always hitting the calcuator before I spend money and think he's got the life of Riley. But then again I guess his emptiness is probably related to being single and childless and maybe the fact that there's no challenge for anything unless he started to want Ferraris or something daft. Other than expensive cars he can just buy what he wants at the drop of a hat. When he bought a mountain bike, I'd be hitting ebay for used stuff but he can just walk into any Evans and just walk away with a bike. 

 

 

best advice I got was to not add things that make you happy, but first to remove things that don’t make you happy. 

Avatar
Anthony.C | 5 years ago
1 like

It sounds like you have a pretty good life.   

Avatar
BehindTheBikesheds | 5 years ago
5 likes

Is there any way you could do some voluntary work during the day that works around you been at home and the work you're doing there? I've been a volunteer with Age UK for over 16 years, mainly visiting older people in their homes for an hour or so (though I tend to do two hours myself) which can be once a week.

So if you have say an hour where you might not well be needed in the house, maybe an hour entertaining with someone who could do with the company and chat might help kill two birds with one stone? 

I was going through a bad time, had to give up work completely most of it due to a chronic illness but mentally I was bust (not just the illness) and was seemingly in bottomless pit of despair, the voluntary work gave me something to hold onto sanity wise, it was therapy for me whilst helping someone else out.

Also I could cycle there and back and deliver the charities magazines by bike as well, for long periods of time simply just getting to the shops, doing the voluntary work would be the only cycling I'd do in a week, just didn't feel like riding at all but forced myself out to try to build fitness up despite the ongoing health problems.

Everyone's road is different, what works for one may not work for another, being told forcefully you need to do X works for me (so long as it makes logical sense), ex-army so I guess that doesn't bother me, but sometimes when we are mentally not where we want to be we are our own worst enemies motivation wise and can easily slump into a rut that can be hard to pull ourselves out of.

I hope you find your smoother path, be it for cycling or otherwise.

Avatar
cycle.london replied to BehindTheBikesheds | 5 years ago
2 likes

BehindTheBikesheds wrote:

Is there any way you could do some voluntary work during the day that works around you been at home and the work you're doing there? I've been a volunteer with Age UK for over 16 years, mainly visiting older people in their homes for an hour or so (though I tend to do two hours myself) which can be once a week.

So if you have say an hour where you might not well be needed in the house, maybe an hour entertaining with someone who could do with the company and chat might help kill two birds with one stone? 

I was going through a bad time, had to give up work completely most of it due to a chronic illness but mentally I was bust (not just the illness) and was seemingly in bottomless pit of despair, the voluntary work gave me something to hold onto sanity wise, it was therapy for me whilst helping someone else out.

Also I could cycle there and back and deliver the charities magazines by bike as well, for long periods of time simply just getting to the shops, doing the voluntary work would be the only cycling I'd do in a week, just didn't feel like riding at all but forced myself out to try to build fitness up despite the ongoing health problems.

Everyone's road is different, what works for one may not work for another, being told forcefully you need to do X works for me (so long as it makes logical sense), ex-army so I guess that doesn't bother me, but sometimes when we are mentally not where we want to be we are our own worst enemies motivation wise and can easily slump into a rut that can be hard to pull ourselves out of.

I hope you find your smoother path, be it for cycling or otherwise.

Thank you for that, I've just had a glance at the Age UK website and might give it a go. 

Avatar
Rick_Rude | 5 years ago
0 likes

Not sure I think working from home is the paradise it may initially seem. My wife does it one day a week and when I come home around 3, she's still another 2 hours to go and me and my lad may as well leave anyway as anything we do will annoy her.

Work should be for a workplace.

As has been mentioned, I'd be expected to do everything if I worked from home. I'd rather stay at work.

Avatar
hawkinspeter replied to Rick_Rude | 5 years ago
1 like

Rick_Rude wrote:

Not sure I think working from home is the paradise it may initially seem. My wife does it one day a week and when I come home around 3, she's still another 2 hours to go and me and my lad may as well leave anyway as anything we do will annoy her.

Work should be for a workplace.

As has been mentioned, I'd be expected to do everything if I worked from home. I'd rather stay at work.

Yeah, I "work" from home one day a week and when my wife was doing different shifts, I'd get annoyed when she tried talking to me when I was "working" ("working" from home always goes into speech marks). What bugged me was that the whole reason that I was "working" from home was to concentrate on tricky jobs without being diverted by office chit-chat and then I'd get even more chit-chat at home. Luckily she's now doing a standard 9-5 shift so it's no longer an issue.

Avatar
cycle.london replied to hawkinspeter | 5 years ago
0 likes

HawkinsPeter wrote:

Rick_Rude wrote:

Not sure I think working from home is the paradise it may initially seem. My wife does it one day a week and when I come home around 3, she's still another 2 hours to go and me and my lad may as well leave anyway as anything we do will annoy her.

Work should be for a workplace.

As has been mentioned, I'd be expected to do everything if I worked from home. I'd rather stay at work.

Yeah, I "work" from home one day a week and when my wife was doing different shifts, I'd get annoyed when she tried talking to me when I was "working" ("working" from home always goes into speech marks). What bugged me was that the whole reason that I was "working" from home was to concentrate on tricky jobs without being diverted by office chit-chat and then I'd get even more chit-chat at home. Luckily she's now doing a standard 9-5 shift so it's no longer an issue.

My wife is in love with her fucking work.  She works in the NHS.  The only time we argue is actually because of that.  I'll get a text saying, just leaving, can you pick me up off the whatever train?

So I pop in the shower, feed the cats, get ready to jump in the car, when another text arrives saying sorry, I won't make that train.

Why not?

I bumped into [whomever] in the corridor

So?  You've already done ten fucking hours, say to them that you'll see them tomorrow

I can't do that, she says.

Why the fuck not? I ask.

She'll do a twelve hour shift and then come home and dial into her office VPN to do more whilst we're sitting vegged out in front of the telly.

Maybe that would piss me off less if I were in the office every day.  But to me, I work to pay my part of the mortgage and bills, and to get us some nice cycling holidays every year.  

Avatar
Simon E replied to cycle.london | 5 years ago
1 like

cycle.london wrote:

My wife is in love with her fucking work.  She works in the NHS.  The only time we argue is actually because of that.  I'll get a text saying, just leaving, can you pick me up off the whatever train?

So I pop in the shower, feed the cats, get ready to jump in the car, when another text arrives saying sorry, I won't make that train.

Why not?

I bumped into [whomever] in the corridor

So?  You've already done ten fucking hours, say to them that you'll see them tomorrow

I can't do that, she says.

Why the fuck not? I ask.

Try looking at it from her PoV.

There are so many people who would dearly wish they could say that they enjoy their work!

Whether that devotion to work is good for her home life or your relationship is another matter but it won't help to be resentful. My wife is a residential support worker for people with mental health issues who require assisted living. She loves her work. It fills a need in her life and that is extremely important to her sense of wellbeing. She's making a real difference to people's lives (who've had pretty shit lives in the past). If she is asked to do an extra shift, go in early or stay late because a colleague is ill etc I don't mind, as long as she is happy to do it.

Perhaps ask your wife to text you when she is actually leaving work.

It's important that you discuss how you both feel. Be open and honest, try not to apportion blame but really think carefully about each other's needs and how you can find a good compromise. The lack of real dialogue between you about this (and perhaps other things) is may well be contributing to your current state of mind.

As for you own job, ask yourself is it really what you want to do? Do you want to work for this company and with a boss that (from what you've written) seems disinterested himself? While it's disruptive and stressful, perhaps a change of job could help. Or even just taking a step back and looking at what you like and don't like about your job then weighing it all up.

Avatar
cycle.london replied to Simon E | 5 years ago
0 likes

Simon E wrote:

cycle.london wrote:

My wife is in love with her fucking work.  She works in the NHS.  The only time we argue is actually because of that.  I'll get a text saying, just leaving, can you pick me up off the whatever train?

So I pop in the shower, feed the cats, get ready to jump in the car, when another text arrives saying sorry, I won't make that train.

Why not?

I bumped into [whomever] in the corridor

So?  You've already done ten fucking hours, say to them that you'll see them tomorrow

I can't do that, she says.

Why the fuck not? I ask.

Try looking at it from her PoV.

There are so many people who would dearly wish they could say that they enjoy their work!

Whether that devotion to work is good for her home life or your relationship is another matter but it won't help to be resentful. My wife is a residential support worker for people with mental health issues who require assisted living. She loves her work. It fills a need in her life and that is extremely important to her sense of wellbeing. She's making a real difference to people's lives (who've had pretty shit lives in the past). If she is asked to do an extra shift, go in early or stay late because a colleague is ill etc I don't mind, as long as she is happy to do it.

Perhaps ask your wife to text you when she is actually leaving work.

It's important that you discuss how you both feel. Be open and honest, try not to apportion blame but really think carefully about each other's needs and how you can find a good compromise. The lack of real dialogue between you about this (and perhaps other things) is may well be contributing to your current state of mind.

As for you own job, ask yourself is it really what you want to do? Do you want to work for this company and with a boss that (from what you've written) seems disinterested himself? While it's disruptive and stressful, perhaps a change of job could help. Or even just taking a step back and looking at what you like and don't like about your job then weighing it all up.

Oh, I get where she's coming from.   She saves lives.  I make people rich(er).

Personally, no - I do not want to be doing the job I'm doing, but I get paid a shedload of wonga to do what I do.  

If I could go back to being twenty, and have absolutely any job I wanted, what would I do?

I'd possibly be flying a Tornado across Northern England.

Or a doctor.

But hey.. too late now.   And nothing I could possibly do would bring in the same amount of dosh, even if I were able to change career. 

Avatar
Simon E replied to cycle.london | 5 years ago
1 like

cycle.london wrote:

Personally, no - I do not want to be doing the job I'm doing, but I get paid a shedload of wonga to do what I do.  

If I could go back to being twenty, and have absolutely any job I wanted, what would I do?

I'd possibly be flying a Tornado across Northern England.

Or a doctor.

But hey.. too late now.   And nothing I could possibly do would bring in the same amount of dosh, even if I were able to change career. 

Is it really so important to earn that much money?

You don't want to do it and, from what you've written, it doesn't appear to be making you happy / contented / satisfied with your life.

It might seem a bit late for changing careers to something that pays big bucks (though that's not necessarily the case) but if you close your mind to the possibility then it definitely won't happen. Could you do a similar job for a different organisation or use your skills and knowledge in another field?

Or have a complete change and do something totally different. It's never too late for that. Try thinking outside the box. I suspect there are far more people have found satisfaction from giving up a 'rat race' or high flyer / big earner type career and downsizing etc than switched the other way.

Avatar
cycle.london replied to Simon E | 5 years ago
0 likes

Simon E wrote:

cycle.london wrote:

Personally, no - I do not want to be doing the job I'm doing, but I get paid a shedload of wonga to do what I do.  

If I could go back to being twenty, and have absolutely any job I wanted, what would I do?

I'd possibly be flying a Tornado across Northern England.

Or a doctor.

But hey.. too late now.   And nothing I could possibly do would bring in the same amount of dosh, even if I were able to change career. 

Is it really so important to earn that much money?

Yeah.  Cos life is shit and pointless and absurd.

The only thing that matters is my wife, the cats and travel. 

My wife will stick around whether I'm rich or poor.  As long as I don't screw around or raise my hand to her, I don't think she'll leave me.   So that leaves the cats and travel. The former, I can pay for on a relatively small wage, but if we're going to do the big tours on bikes we want, that requires wonga.  Oh, and mortgage. And takeouts from Pizzahut. And Nando's.  And so on.   1

Avatar
Simon E replied to cycle.london | 5 years ago
0 likes

cycle.london wrote:

Simon E wrote:

Is it really so important to earn that much money?

Yeah.  Cos life is shit and pointless and absurd.

The only thing that matters is my wife, the cats and travel. 

My wife will stick around whether I'm rich or poor.  As long as I don't screw around or raise my hand to her, I don't think she'll leave me.   So that leaves the cats and travel. The former, I can pay for on a relatively small wage, but if we're going to do the big tours on bikes we want, that requires wonga.  Oh, and mortgage. And takeouts from Pizzahut. And Nando's.  And so on.   1

So you will tolerate your current seemingly miserable situation to get those brief windows of light relief? Eek, I couldn't vote for a life like that! I'd not want to spend most of my days waiting for those escapes, knowing that they will be over all too soon.

I have always had low paid jobs because I never wanted a career or what many people call being 'successful'. Yet all of my jobs have been satisfying, regardless of the pay (mostly crap), though I'd not turn down more time off! Still, different strokes...

check12 wrote:

best advice I got was to not add things that make you happy, but first to remove things that make you unhappy.

Excellent advice. I've tweaked it slightly to emphasise the importance of addressing the negative side of life; sometimes the pursuit of happiness is like striving for some unobtainable goal (depending on your definition).

Avatar
cycle.london | 5 years ago
2 likes

My heartfelt thanks to everyone who has responded. Called my GP surgery yesterday to be told that their best doctor had moved on elsewhere.  Arse.  I'm going to make an appointment to see someone, though.

One of the things that complicates matters - as I mentioned in my first whiney post about this last year - is that although strictly speaking, I'm 'supposed' to be in the office every day, no one bothers if I'm not.  I had what they call a '1:1' with my boss a couple of months ago.

'Are you in the office today?'

'Erm .. no, I'm at home'

'Yeah, fair enough.   I'm not bothered either way, mate'

That's great.  But it doesn't motivate me to get into the office.

My wife likes it. Well, she's as concerned for my mental health as anyone, but when I'm home all day, every day, it means that the house gets kept clean.  Dishes in the dishwasher, clothes washed and hanging up, work surfaces wiped down.  
 

Anyway, this isn't solving the problem.

I sort of fancy doing the Dunwich this year.  Reckon I have enough time to prepare?

Avatar
hawkinspeter replied to cycle.london | 5 years ago
1 like

cycle.london wrote:

My heartfelt thanks to everyone who has responded. Called my GP surgery yesterday to be told that their best doctor had moved on elsewhere.  Arse.  I'm going to make an appointment to see someone, though.

One of the things that complicates matters - as I mentioned in my first whiney post about this last year - is that although strictly speaking, I'm 'supposed' to be in the office every day, no one bothers if I'm not.  I had what they call a '1:1' with my boss a couple of months ago.

'Are you in the office today?'

'Erm .. no, I'm at home'

'Yeah, fair enough.   I'm not bothered either way, mate'

That's great.  But it doesn't motivate me to get into the office.

My wife likes it. Well, she's as concerned for my mental health as anyone, but when I'm home all day, every day, it means that the house gets kept clean.  Dishes in the dishwasher, clothes washed and hanging up, work surfaces wiped down.  
 

Anyway, this isn't solving the problem.

I sort of fancy doing the Dunwich this year.  Reckon I have enough time to prepare?

I can empathise with feeling "invisible" at work - it's very demotivating. I try to focus on the positive aspects (I can get on with doing what I want, when I want with minimal interference), but it does wear you down. I often fantasise about switching jobs, but on balance, I think I'm better staying where I am as it pays the bills and is easy (for me, anyway).

Having no particular knowledge of doing the Dunwich (though I'm well up on the fictitious Dunwich and their fish-men), I'd state that yes, you most definitely do have enough time to prepare. July is plenty of time.

Avatar
cycle.london replied to hawkinspeter | 5 years ago
0 likes

HawkinsPeter wrote:

cycle.london wrote:

My heartfelt thanks to everyone who has responded. Called my GP surgery yesterday to be told that their best doctor had moved on elsewhere.  Arse.  I'm going to make an appointment to see someone, though.

One of the things that complicates matters - as I mentioned in my first whiney post about this last year - is that although strictly speaking, I'm 'supposed' to be in the office every day, no one bothers if I'm not.  I had what they call a '1:1' with my boss a couple of months ago.

'Are you in the office today?'

'Erm .. no, I'm at home'

'Yeah, fair enough.   I'm not bothered either way, mate'

That's great.  But it doesn't motivate me to get into the office.

My wife likes it. Well, she's as concerned for my mental health as anyone, but when I'm home all day, every day, it means that the house gets kept clean.  Dishes in the dishwasher, clothes washed and hanging up, work surfaces wiped down.  
 

Anyway, this isn't solving the problem.

I sort of fancy doing the Dunwich this year.  Reckon I have enough time to prepare?

I can empathise with feeling "invisible" at work - it's very demotivating. I try to focus on the positive aspects (I can get on with doing what I want, when I want with minimal interference), but it does wear you down. I often fantasise about switching jobs, but on balance, I think I'm better staying where I am as it pays the bills and is easy (for me, anyway).

Having no particular knowledge of doing the Dunwich (though I'm well up on the fictitious Dunwich and their fish-men), I'd state that yes, you most definitely do have enough time to prepare. July is plenty of time.

It's not so much being invisible, as I know that they know when I'm there.  But as I do all that computery, geeky shit, i can do it just as well sitting here in my living room, on the company VPN. I've been seriously tempted to go and rent a small flat in somewhere like Rome, and 'WFH' there, without telling anyone.  I can get back in a day, for any meetings.  But my wife would never go for it. 

Avatar
hawkinspeter replied to cycle.london | 5 years ago
1 like

cycle.london wrote:

HawkinsPeter wrote:

cycle.london wrote:

My heartfelt thanks to everyone who has responded. Called my GP surgery yesterday to be told that their best doctor had moved on elsewhere.  Arse.  I'm going to make an appointment to see someone, though.

One of the things that complicates matters - as I mentioned in my first whiney post about this last year - is that although strictly speaking, I'm 'supposed' to be in the office every day, no one bothers if I'm not.  I had what they call a '1:1' with my boss a couple of months ago.

'Are you in the office today?'

'Erm .. no, I'm at home'

'Yeah, fair enough.   I'm not bothered either way, mate'

That's great.  But it doesn't motivate me to get into the office.

My wife likes it. Well, she's as concerned for my mental health as anyone, but when I'm home all day, every day, it means that the house gets kept clean.  Dishes in the dishwasher, clothes washed and hanging up, work surfaces wiped down.  
 

Anyway, this isn't solving the problem.

I sort of fancy doing the Dunwich this year.  Reckon I have enough time to prepare?

I can empathise with feeling "invisible" at work - it's very demotivating. I try to focus on the positive aspects (I can get on with doing what I want, when I want with minimal interference), but it does wear you down. I often fantasise about switching jobs, but on balance, I think I'm better staying where I am as it pays the bills and is easy (for me, anyway).

Having no particular knowledge of doing the Dunwich (though I'm well up on the fictitious Dunwich and their fish-men), I'd state that yes, you most definitely do have enough time to prepare. July is plenty of time.

It's not so much being invisible, as I know that they know when I'm there.  But as I do all that computery, geeky shit, i can do it just as well sitting here in my living room, on the company VPN. I've been seriously tempted to go and rent a small flat in somewhere like Rome, and 'WFH' there, without telling anyone.  I can get back in a day, for any meetings.  But my wife would never go for it. 

Likewise, I'm doing computery, geeky stuff as well, so I'm only really visible when things stop working - that means that upper management have no idea what I do but have a general feeling that I'm needed.

Avatar
cycle.london replied to hawkinspeter | 5 years ago
1 like

HawkinsPeter wrote:

cycle.london wrote:

HawkinsPeter wrote:

cycle.london wrote:

My heartfelt thanks to everyone who has responded. Called my GP surgery yesterday to be told that their best doctor had moved on elsewhere.  Arse.  I'm going to make an appointment to see someone, though.

One of the things that complicates matters - as I mentioned in my first whiney post about this last year - is that although strictly speaking, I'm 'supposed' to be in the office every day, no one bothers if I'm not.  I had what they call a '1:1' with my boss a couple of months ago.

'Are you in the office today?'

'Erm .. no, I'm at home'

'Yeah, fair enough.   I'm not bothered either way, mate'

That's great.  But it doesn't motivate me to get into the office.

My wife likes it. Well, she's as concerned for my mental health as anyone, but when I'm home all day, every day, it means that the house gets kept clean.  Dishes in the dishwasher, clothes washed and hanging up, work surfaces wiped down.  
 

Anyway, this isn't solving the problem.

I sort of fancy doing the Dunwich this year.  Reckon I have enough time to prepare?

I can empathise with feeling "invisible" at work - it's very demotivating. I try to focus on the positive aspects (I can get on with doing what I want, when I want with minimal interference), but it does wear you down. I often fantasise about switching jobs, but on balance, I think I'm better staying where I am as it pays the bills and is easy (for me, anyway).

Having no particular knowledge of doing the Dunwich (though I'm well up on the fictitious Dunwich and their fish-men), I'd state that yes, you most definitely do have enough time to prepare. July is plenty of time.

It's not so much being invisible, as I know that they know when I'm there.  But as I do all that computery, geeky shit, i can do it just as well sitting here in my living room, on the company VPN. I've been seriously tempted to go and rent a small flat in somewhere like Rome, and 'WFH' there, without telling anyone.  I can get back in a day, for any meetings.  But my wife would never go for it. 

Likewise, I'm doing computery, geeky stuff as well, so I'm only really visible when things stop working - that means that upper management have no idea what I do but have a general feeling that I'm needed.

hah, yeah I know that!  One day, a colleague (previous job) told me that when I had left to cycle home, someone had said, 'What, erm..what exactly does [my name] do?'

'Linux stuff' he said.

'Oh'

And that was that. 

Avatar
hawkinspeter replied to cycle.london | 5 years ago
0 likes

cycle.london wrote:

HawkinsPeter wrote:

cycle.london wrote:

HawkinsPeter wrote:

cycle.london wrote:

My heartfelt thanks to everyone who has responded. Called my GP surgery yesterday to be told that their best doctor had moved on elsewhere.  Arse.  I'm going to make an appointment to see someone, though.

One of the things that complicates matters - as I mentioned in my first whiney post about this last year - is that although strictly speaking, I'm 'supposed' to be in the office every day, no one bothers if I'm not.  I had what they call a '1:1' with my boss a couple of months ago.

'Are you in the office today?'

'Erm .. no, I'm at home'

'Yeah, fair enough.   I'm not bothered either way, mate'

That's great.  But it doesn't motivate me to get into the office.

My wife likes it. Well, she's as concerned for my mental health as anyone, but when I'm home all day, every day, it means that the house gets kept clean.  Dishes in the dishwasher, clothes washed and hanging up, work surfaces wiped down.  
 

Anyway, this isn't solving the problem.

I sort of fancy doing the Dunwich this year.  Reckon I have enough time to prepare?

I can empathise with feeling "invisible" at work - it's very demotivating. I try to focus on the positive aspects (I can get on with doing what I want, when I want with minimal interference), but it does wear you down. I often fantasise about switching jobs, but on balance, I think I'm better staying where I am as it pays the bills and is easy (for me, anyway).

Having no particular knowledge of doing the Dunwich (though I'm well up on the fictitious Dunwich and their fish-men), I'd state that yes, you most definitely do have enough time to prepare. July is plenty of time.

It's not so much being invisible, as I know that they know when I'm there.  But as I do all that computery, geeky shit, i can do it just as well sitting here in my living room, on the company VPN. I've been seriously tempted to go and rent a small flat in somewhere like Rome, and 'WFH' there, without telling anyone.  I can get back in a day, for any meetings.  But my wife would never go for it. 

Likewise, I'm doing computery, geeky stuff as well, so I'm only really visible when things stop working - that means that upper management have no idea what I do but have a general feeling that I'm needed.

hah, yeah I know that!  One day, a colleague (previous job) told me that when I had left to cycle home, someone had said, 'What, erm..what exactly does [my name] do?'

'Linux stuff' he said.

'Oh'

And that was that. 

Yeah, I'm a linux admin part of the time and the other part of the time, I do DBA work which largely involves making developers cry.

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Rick_Rude | 5 years ago
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As has been mentioned, doctors first. Get them to run a 'full' blood test and you may find an answer you didn't expect. Mine was an underactive thyroid, it started with my mood first but took my immune system down for a bit as well. I went through  a period of getting hit with everything but after a year or so I'm back to normal so of.  Plenty of things feed into mood though.

Don't be afraid to try different doctors as some are utterly useless. When I was still getting every illness known to man I was literally coughing up blood and one doctor said it was probably just stress! Saw another who did the volumetric test and told me I had a chest infection and put me on a steroid inhaler! In my experience, the older the doctor the less they give a fuck. Go for young chargers.

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alotronic replied to Rick_Rude | 5 years ago
1 like

Rick_Rude wrote:

As has been mentioned, doctors first. Get them to run a 'full' blood test and you may find an answer you didn't expect. Mine was an underactive thyroid, it started with my mood first but took my immune system down for a bit as well. I went through  a period of getting hit with everything but after a year or so I'm back to normal so of.  Plenty of things feed into mood though.

Don't be afraid to try different doctors as some are utterly useless. When I was still getting every illness known to man I was literally coughing up blood and one doctor said it was probably just stress! Saw another who did the volumetric test and told me I had a chest infection and put me on a steroid inhaler! In my experience, the older the doctor the less they give a fuck. Go for young chargers.

Agreed... Would add that ultimately my bad times we caused (or made a lot worse) by a physical issue - in my case coeliacs disease. Explore all avenues...

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matthewn5 replied to Rick_Rude | 5 years ago
1 like

My suggestion to the OP is to commute on the bike. When I first started 10 years ago, a mate said 'now just make sure you do it every day'. That was the best advice ever: It's really never too cold, I arrive at work flushed and warm and ready to go, and flog the bike on the way home as a workout. Just make it a habit, you'll be fine with a waterproof jacket, mudguards and overshoes, warm as toast by the time you get to work, whatever the weather. I look forward to my ride in and my ride home. You'll pile on the miles over the year compared to the Sunday warriors too.

Rick_Rude wrote:

As has been mentioned, doctors first. Get them to run a 'full' blood test and you may find an answer you didn't expect. Mine was an underactive thyroid, it started with my mood first but took my immune system down for a bit as well. I went through  a period of getting hit with everything but after a year or so I'm back to normal so of.  Plenty of things feed into mood though.

Don't be afraid to try different doctors as some are utterly useless.

Late last year I was diagnosed - by a new, young GP - with adrenal insufficiency. Other GPs had missed it for years. It means your body doesn't produce enough cortisol, which leaves you flat as a pancake and lacking the energy to even think of doing anything, let alone doing anything. I was needing 2 coffees and 4 cups of tea to get through a day at work and then flat on the sofa most evenings and weekends. Hopeless. If I ever got ill - flu or something - I was ending up in hospital overnight. Shocking.

To cut a long story short, they found a problem, prescribed a treatment, and I've been  of beans since and feel a decade younger. I've done all the bike maintenance jobs I'd put off, replaced dodgy bearings, sorted out my bike spares, cleaned the chain, the transmission, adjusted the gears and the brakes so the commuter feels like a new bike.

So: see a doctor, and make cycling a habit. Yes, you can work from home, but it's more fun at the office.

 

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alotronic | 5 years ago
3 likes

Big difference between can't get motivated and genuinely depressed. No one can tell you which one you are but you might know at heart. If you are genuinely depressed then any number of approaches *could* work for you (drugs, CBT, talking therapies, everyone's journey here is differnt). Either way take action and share it. No point in suffering in isolation and silence, it will make things worse.

One of the terrible things about depression (long time sufferer, thankfully in the past now) is that it makes you think that you are powerless and that you can't change - both untrue. That you want someone to know is obvious as you have posted here - a good sign. We can nudge you, but you need to get to a doctor or a therapist now. Don't fuck around with this, get onto it and start to find the way through. If you do that you can make the world of difference to yourself and have a great life.  

If it's just a rut then above will sound like overkill, but if you are increasingly down you should at least consider paying for some CBT. You might get some on NHS but it will take a while to sort out. I just bit the bullet and spent the money - about 8 sessions made a huge difference, cost around £600, but well spent - you can't even buy a decent frame for that money  1

 

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ChancerOnABike | 5 years ago
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i would try and speak to a behavioural therapist, usually very practical at changing your behaviours.

after a lazy year last year i set myself a target of 8000kms this year. My commute is 200 a week so keeps me motivated, and always beat myself for getting in the car and spending the same time sat in traffic as i would on the bike.  Having that target seems to be pushing me along nicely.

 

hope you manage to work it out

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Tommytrucker | 5 years ago
2 likes

Or a homemade miniature remote control forklift truck.

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