What's your 'pocket loading strategy'?

Left pocket - Energy gel and water proof/gilet if required. CO2 pump

Centre pocket - Rapha essentials case with spare tube, multitool, tyre lever, self adhesive patches and cash.

Right pocket - Mobile phone and my garage opener.

On me...as in the pic below. Lezyne caddy has room for cash/CI license 3 x zero tabs and spare battery for front light (lezyne micro XL)

On the bike a Lezyne saddle pack (small/loaded on the aeroad, medium for the defy) 2 x inner tubes, patch kit, multi tool and 2 x tyre levers...with micro pump attached to bottle cage(s)

Emergency pound?

I want your kind of emergencies!

The bare minimum...

• Winter rides: a phone in the right-hand pocket, wallet & housekey in the left 
• Winter/Spring training runs: the above & a powerbar, only if there's group consensus that we're not stopping 
• Summer:  the above & maybe 1 or 2 gels in the left, and a packaway gilet in the middle pocket (was a lifesaver in Spain last May, when descending).

I hate loading my jersey with crap, that's what a saddlebag is for, and it contains a tube, levers, gas pump, spare cylinder and emergency £1.

I don't understand why people load their pockets with food in the winter, especially if you're training. 

I used to stuff everything into my jersey pockets, then I saw a sideways on photo of me off the bike and I looked like the Hottentot Venus.

Now everything is on the bike, the machine may look like it's embarking on a round the world tour but I have the 'bella figura'.

I dont really have fixed pockets for things except the middle pocket tends to be soft stuff like gloves/gillet/cap/armwarmers only as yeah I do agree if you bounce off on hard things, theyll tend to hurt more on your spine.But left or right side I have things like phone, keys (not in the same pocket though), lip balm, inhaler,gel,cereal/protein bar. money I put in the saddlebag, pump goes on the frame, but I might bag it up now as I realised that actually yeah it does get alot of crud off the road and might not work when I need it if I leave it like that.

OH, I know this is a week old thread but I want to play!

Left pocket: small pump, rain jacket or warmers depending on the time of year. food wrappers also go in here unless I have a winter jersey on, then they get tucked in the sleeve.

Middle pocket: spare tube, or tubes, any other layers that I can squeeze in if needed. Sometimes put a cafe lock in here or swap contents with left pocket apart from pump that always stays in the left pocket.

Right pocket: Phone in clear pocket with any cards or money that I might need, orbitkey keyring which holds and protects sharp bits of keys from sticking in me!, plus food.

I used to have a saddlebag, but I've found that I really don't need it. Can't even remember where I put it actually! Same with levers, I rarely find a tyre that I can't get on and off without levers and thats from mtb and kids bike tyres right through to 23mm road tyres. It's all about the technique and having really calloused thumbs!!

Personally, I would avoid using the center jersey pocket for anything hard. Land on your spine in an endo, and that mini pump in your center pocket can spell instant paralysis.

Tools and tubes always on the bike, either in a saddle bag, or mounted to frame as with a mini pump.

Left pocket - wallet in ziplock sandwich bag, keys, sunscreen on longer rides
Center pocket - my rain jacket, a bulky Sugoi Zap hardshell
Right pocket - waterproof phone, granola bars, wet wipes

There are instances of riders whose wallets have gotten snatched away by local thugs in my country, though. When I bike commute to work I usually put my wallet inside my panniers.

Lesson learned. Phone goes in middle pocket now as I fell off after a nonchalant unclipping amnesia while stationery and bent my phone which was in the right pocket.

Small under saddle bag: spare tube, pump, space blanket, levers, cafe lock, and allen keys.

Middle pocket: Phone and money

Right pocket: Glasses, rain jacket (if needed)

Left pocket: Food (and later food wrappers)

Left - tube, tyre levers, micropump & ID (velcroed together)

Right - Ratchet minitool, selection of brands of glueless patches, quicklink

Middle - rain jacket/gilet, gels, phone (in zip lock with a couple of tightly rolled plastic fivers)

Small under saddle bag: Spare Tube, spare batteries, Tyre Levers, patches and Multitool.

Middle pocket: Phone (if not attached to stem), food bars.

Right pocket: Keys, Tissues

Left pocket: Money (folding and notes), Handsfree earphones.

Pump attached via holder mounted under bottle cage.
Cafe Lock is permanently wrapped around head tube just in case
Wind/Shower jacket on the pannier via 3 strap bungee (which can also be utilised for shopping if needed)

Left: a small fleece square for wiping my nose - it's far better than tissue and won't get manky like a hanky.

Middle: house key, cash. A jacket/cap also get stuffed in here as required with empty wrappers.

Right: food - banana, snickers etc.

Tools and spare tube go in a seat pack. I wouldn't carry a pump, or anything solid, in a jersey pocket.

Groceries are bought separately. I try not to mix business (shopping) with pleasure (riding). For the commute I use a small waist pack or rucksack.

Right - epo vial and syringe
Middle - benzos
Left remote control for hidden motor

Nah not really, it's just a banana and some keys, same as everyone else.

nothing has a fixed location

generally tools and tubes are on the bike
snacks in a top tube bag so they are accessible
wallet and phone in one pocket
keys and coins in another
extra layers in the third

I don't tend to carry a lock, just select my stops accordingly. (Not in towns/cities and where I can see my bike at all times)

Small under saddle bag: spare tube, CO2, levers and allen keys.

Middle pocket: Phone

Right pocket: Jelly babies

Left pocket: Money, only on longer rides if I plan to buy lunch.

Keys/eyeliner left at home in hidey hole.

Left - phone, money, ID, keys, pack of tissues, 1/2 the food.

Middle - windproof if not already wearing it, spare tube, emergency gels.

Right - Neoprene pouch containing breakdown kit (CO2, 4/5mm Hex keys, tyre boot, patches and glue, chain links, few plasters), 1/2 the food.

Add arm warmers and sun cream as appropriate.

For long rides, I'll tape a second tube under the saddle and add another CO2 or mini-pump on the frame.

I used to use a small seat pack to put the breakdown kit and a tube in and sometimes still do on long rides if the weather is iffy and I want to get a proper waterproof/leg warmers in.

"If I stop and pick up a few groceries on the way home, I usually stick the milk in the middle (emptying it first into the right), chocolate bar on the left, and anything else down the front of my jersey."

This has got a lot easier since the demise of big box powders, and since I stopped drinking those 3l bottles of white lightning.

I know it's all a matter of preference but personally I never carry anything solid in the middle pocket on the basis of avoiding anything hard impacting the spine in the event of an "off". Just a thought.

Which pocket for your BC membership card?