You didn't think you were going to get to slip into classics season without you know who making a live blog appearance with some eyebrow-raising comments about bike racing, did you?
Today's topic? The current generation of bike racers and their "hugs and high fives" that would "have been totally foreign to me". Roll the tape...
"This generation now, these guys go hammer, race each other, some guy will lose. The guy who wins is waiting at the finish line. They're f*****g hugging it out... I'm like, what?"
This feels like the cycling equivalent of a former footballer, of questionable ability, moaning about the current generation saying hello to their mates in the tunnel pre-match.
"You're just waiting there so you can all hug this out? After you just lost? I'm not saying that our generation was the way to do it or that I was proud, I think it's kind of cool to see, but it wasn't like that for us. Never even crossed my mind," he continued.
"I do think our generation's racing was better [...] we didn't hate each other but even for me, nobody ever did anything to me that would have led me to be like I hate this motherf*****. I would make things up and read an article and be like, 'well, I guess I could read it in a certain way, well, f*** them."
Or maybe just...
As Ryan pointed out to me this morning, the sporting handshake with Jan Ullrich as the pair crossed the line together atop Luz-Ardiden during the 2001 Tour must have been scratched from the history books too, plenty of asterisks from that era...
In the past 14 months, Lance Armstrong's achievements stretched to becoming a reality TV villain after clashing with a Modern Family star over trans athletes during a bizarre US show where celebrities pretended to be astronauts on a simulated version of Mars. Cue the claims that he is "all too familiar" with being cancelled... and the counter shouts from the internet questioning Lance's credentials for lecturing the public about "fairness in sports"...
Last year, he also objected to a poll by cycling statistics website ProCyclingStats, marking the 10-year anniversary of his Oprah confession, who asked if Armstrong should get his results back?
"The only people that should be asked are the ones who were in the battle with me. I know their answer," he claimed, pulling off the quite incredible achievement of apparently managing to ask every single professional cyclist he ever raced against within four hours.