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Philippa York would have traded cycling career to have lived as a woman from a younger age

BBC TV interview sees York return to Glasgow to meet former mentor for first time in 20 years

Philippa York – formerly Robert Millar – has told the BBC that she would have transitioned in her teenage years had she known then what she knows now. After only learning that she could transition in her 20s, York decided to wait until after her cycling career was over.

As Millar, York won stages in all three Grand Tours, took the mountains classification in the 1984 Tour de France and was runner-up in both the Giro d’Italia and Vuelta a Espana.

She went public about her transition in July shortly before joining the ITV4 Tour de France commentary team.

However, she said she would have traded her racing career for an earlier transition, had she known it were an option: "If I had the information that is available now to me back then, when I was on the cusp of trying to make a decision, I would have chosen to transition and not become a cyclist or whatever I became.

"But I realised it wasn't a practical thing, so I decided to wait until my career was over and, if I still felt the same, I'd do something about it. The thing that counts the most is not how famous are you going to be, it's how happy, and that counts more for me than any kind of success."

Although she said there had been days when she was ‘struggling with it,’ she adds that competitive cycling would often cover some of the anguish she felt.

"In professional sport there is no real place for emotions. That whole emotional system, I just turned it off and I operated like a robot. I would turn off my personal life while I did races and when I stopped the races I would have a couple of hours where I could turn back into what I call my normal person.

"I deal with my transition in two parts: Robert was the cyclist and Philippa isn't the athlete – she doesn't do any competitions. I'm happy - not perfectly happy, because I don't think perfection exists, but I'm fairly stable where I am and happy."

As well as discussing her gender change, York’s first TV interview also sees her return to Glasgow where she met former professional cyclist Billy Bilsland, who guided her in her early career but hadn’t met her in 20 years.

She also visited Sir Chris Hoy at the velodrome that bears his name, where both cyclists reveal their admiration for one another.

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17 comments

Avatar
Edgeley | 6 years ago
1 like

I am glad that I got to see Robert Millar riding.

I am also glad that she is now happier and more comfortable with who she is.

 

Is there really more to say?

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Woldsman | 6 years ago
1 like

I don't know. We start with a thoughtful piece about transgender and regret, and transition in to some sort of dig at Yorkshire's only maritime city - the current UK city of culture. What's that all about?!!?

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beezus fufoon replied to Woldsman | 6 years ago
1 like

Woldsman wrote:

I don't know. We start with a thoughtful piece about transgender and regret, and transition in to some sort of dig at Yorkshire's only maritime city - the current UK city of culture. What's that all about?!!?

damn, I was trying to compliment the people of Hull on their butchness!

Watching the BBC video, I got the sense that it was less about regret and more about challenging the idea that being a high-profile champion was some great thing to aspire to, even at the expense of personal happiness - juxtaposing the way things look to everyone else from the outside and the demands of being in the public eye with what really mattered to her, which she was brave enough to follow through with despite the obvious reactionary responses.

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alansmurphy replied to beezus fufoon | 6 years ago
1 like

beezus fufoon wrote:

 

Watching the BBC video, I got the sense that it was less about regret and more about challenging the idea that being a high-profile champion was some great thing to aspire to, even at the expense of personal happiness - juxtaposing the way things look to everyone else from the outside and the demands of being in the public eye with what really mattered to her, which she was brave enough to follow through with despite the obvious reactionary responses.

 

Absolutely but again you have to wonder where the transgender line came into this. Many sportsmen and women make huge sacrifices whether that be their kids lives, Shane telling you to have a kid, living in the public eye, and the depression that can come following a sporting career.

 

Whilst I'd still aspire to it, love to swap places with a multi-millionaire footballer or even a domestique, you also have to think about those that the sport spits out, many thousands for every champion!

Avatar
Yorkshire wallet | 6 years ago
0 likes

I read a stat that 41% of transgendered people attempt suicide at some point in their life after reassignment. Clearly, the pursuit of happiness is elusive for this group.

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exilegareth replied to Yorkshire wallet | 6 years ago
1 like

Yorkshire wallet wrote:

I read a stat that 41% of transgendered people attempt suicide at some point in their life after reassignment. Clearly, the pursuit of happiness is elusive for this group.

Love to see a source for that stat.  Most of the claims made are, bluntly, bullshit. Try this article before you're tempted to trot out your ignorance again http://transadvocate.com/fact-check-study-shows-transition-makes-trans-p...

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BehindTheBikesheds | 6 years ago
1 like

Sorry but even in my late teens when Millar was on the scene/big tv I knew a little about transgender, I came across it coincidentally whilst doing research for a totally unrelated matter and further already knew what a transvestite was and it wasn't just some fantasy. This was in the end of the line city of Hull. He could have stepped back away from cycling to pursue matters, HE chose not to by his own admittance. You were driven to become a successful cyclist that was obvious, to now say in hindsight you'd give it up to change matters is disingenuous because you had a chance to change things and attempt to find out more but didn't! I don't care frankly what gender or orientation anyone is (though I baulk at cycle helmet nutters) but a sob story on the back of not making decisions you could have taken is simply that, a sob story with no real value.

We all can have regrets about decisions we made but your pony about not being able to find out more is not washing. Sorry but that's how I feel about it.

Avatar
beezus fufoon replied to BehindTheBikesheds | 6 years ago
2 likes

BehindTheBikesheds wrote:

...when Millar was on the scene/big tv...

errr, phrasing?!

BehindTheBikesheds wrote:

...I knew a little about transgender, I came across it coincidentally whilst doing research for a totally unrelated matter...

cough cough...

BehindTheBikesheds wrote:

...already knew what a transvestite was and it wasn't just some fantasy...

not a fantasy you say? So it was a reality for you back then? - no doubt you were doing some research on a totally unrelated matter, for a friend of a friend's second cousin twice removed.

Avatar
BehindTheBikesheds replied to beezus fufoon | 6 years ago
0 likes

beezus fufoon wrote:

BehindTheBikesheds wrote:

...when Millar was on the scene/big tv...

errr, phrasing?!

BehindTheBikesheds wrote:

...I knew a little about transgender, I came across it coincidentally whilst doing research for a totally unrelated matter...

cough cough...

BehindTheBikesheds wrote:

...already knew what a transvestite was and it wasn't just some fantasy...

not a fantasy you say? So it was a reality for you back then? - no doubt you were doing some research on a totally unrelated matter, for a friend of a friend's second cousin twice removed.

Are you on crack or just deliberately trying to show that you're incapable of understanding plain English?

Avatar
beezus fufoon replied to BehindTheBikesheds | 6 years ago
2 likes

BehindTheBikesheds wrote:

beezus fufoon wrote:

BehindTheBikesheds wrote:

...when Millar was on the scene/big tv...

errr, phrasing?!

BehindTheBikesheds wrote:

...I knew a little about transgender, I came across it coincidentally whilst doing research for a totally unrelated matter...

cough cough...

BehindTheBikesheds wrote:

...already knew what a transvestite was and it wasn't just some fantasy...

not a fantasy you say? So it was a reality for you back then? - no doubt you were doing some research on a totally unrelated matter, for a friend of a friend's second cousin twice removed.

Are you on crack or just deliberately trying to show that you're incapable of understanding plain English?

a little from column A, and a little from column B...

enjoy your "research" - remember to drink plenty of fluids

Avatar
exilegareth replied to BehindTheBikesheds | 6 years ago
4 likes

BehindTheBikesheds wrote:

Sorry but even in my late teens when Millar was on the scene/big tv I knew a little about transgender, I came across it coincidentally whilst doing research for a totally unrelated matter and further already knew what a transvestite was and it wasn't just some fantasy. This was in the end of the line city of Hull. He could have stepped back away from cycling to pursue matters, HE chose not to by his own admittance. You were driven to become a successful cyclist that was obvious, to now say in hindsight you'd give it up to change matters is disingenuous because you had a chance to change things and attempt to find out more but didn't! I don't care frankly what gender or orientation anyone is (though I baulk at cycle helmet nutters) but a sob story on the back of not making decisions you could have taken is simply that, a sob story with no real value.

We all can have regrets about decisions we made but your pony about not being able to find out more is not washing. Sorry but that's how I feel about it.

Forgive me asking, but you are aware that cross dressing and being transgender are not related aren' t you? You probably need to rethink the way you said this, because you give the impression  of being hugely shallow...

Avatar
beezus fufoon replied to exilegareth | 6 years ago
1 like

exilegareth wrote:

BehindTheBikesheds wrote:

Sorry but even in my late teens when Millar was on the scene/big tv I knew a little about transgender, I came across it coincidentally whilst doing research for a totally unrelated matter and further already knew what a transvestite was and it wasn't just some fantasy. This was in the end of the line city of Hull. He could have stepped back away from cycling to pursue matters, HE chose not to by his own admittance. You were driven to become a successful cyclist that was obvious, to now say in hindsight you'd give it up to change matters is disingenuous because you had a chance to change things and attempt to find out more but didn't! I don't care frankly what gender or orientation anyone is (though I baulk at cycle helmet nutters) but a sob story on the back of not making decisions you could have taken is simply that, a sob story with no real value.

We all can have regrets about decisions we made but your pony about not being able to find out more is not washing. Sorry but that's how I feel about it.

Forgive me asking, but you are aware that cross dressing and being transgender are not related aren' t you? You probably need to rethink the way you said this, because you give the impression  of being hugely shallow...

I once came across a reference to Hull, purely by accident of course, while doing some totally unrelated research about an entirely different and unconnected subject matter, but I heard that it was rumoured that the closest they got to cross dressing was when someone held up a post office wearing a pair of tights on their head!

Avatar
Valbrona | 6 years ago
2 likes

Didn't think it would be long before the BBC made one of those bleeding-heart stories about her.

And after what many viewed as Robert Millars' snub by the then BCF after his retirement from racing we can now expect the poncey PC apparachiks at British Cycling to be throwing themselves over one another to get him/her into the ranks. Maybe they might even create a special role for him/her, like 'Transgender Ambassador'.

Doubt he/she would have got the ITV4 TdF gig had he not transitioned.

Avatar
Flying Scot replied to Valbrona | 6 years ago
9 likes

Valbrona wrote:

Doubt he/she would have got the ITV4 TdF gig had he not transitioned.

Bullshit, Miller, like Sean Kelly, was at the top of the game for years.

He would have won the Tour and the Giro if he ever was in a team that supported that ambition instead of treating him like a domestique.

Philppa is no pampered cycling academy graduate, but someone who came through the hard way, through the club scene and knows the game inside out.

David Millar got the gig easy, and was never in Robert's league....Paul Sherwen?

From what I hear, the gender issue never came into it and had his family not agreed he would have commentating as 'Robert' just as was writing until recently.

Avatar
zanf replied to Valbrona | 6 years ago
12 likes

Valbrona wrote:

Doubt he/she would have got the ITV4 TdF gig had he not transitioned.

The correct pronoun is she/her. Its not really hard to work out.

As for 'getting the gig', Philippa has been writing columns in Cycling News & Rouleur for years abeit under Robert Millar, and with finally deciding to go public about her transition, could take up the long standing offer from the ITV4 TdF team to join them commentating.

The only reason it didnt happen before was because she guards her privacy, as she did when she was Robert Millar.

The comments about BC are just plain fucking daft and show you dont really have a clue.

 

BehindTheBikesheds wrote:

You were driven to become a successful cyclist that was obvious, to now say in hindsight you'd give it up to change matters is disingenuous because you had a chance to change things and attempt to find out more but didn't! I don't care frankly what gender or orientation anyone is (though I baulk at cycle helmet nutters) but a sob story on the back of not making decisions you could have taken is simply that, a sob story with no real value.

Blah blah blah!

Look behind any person who succeeds in any field and you will generally find a flawed individual.

Another in cycling is Graeme Obree. The guy dealt with huge demons while breaking records time again, and its later revealled that not only was there incidents of sexual abuse in his childhood but he was trying to come to terms with being gay.

As for not choosing a certain path back then, you have no idea what that individual faced and why they didnt make specific choices when they could have. Not everyone shares the same timeline as you and its evidence of a lack of empathy and compassion that would make you say something so myopic.

I could go on but I've got better things to be doing with my day.

Avatar
Flying Scot | 6 years ago
3 likes

I think its so sad Philippa went through this, she seems much happier than Robert ever was, although just as shy.

Fantastic interviews and its good to have our cycling royalty back at the top table with Hoy and Obree

Avatar
alansmurphy | 6 years ago
3 likes

Hmmm - not sure I want to tell anyone how they should or shouldn't feel but sometimes you can look back with an altered view.

 

If she had the information then, transitioned and worked in a shoe shop for a god damn awful manager, on a pittance then she would potentially still struggle now.

 

Maybe she looks back and sees something superficial, images of a man that she knows wasn't happy in a very male dominated testosterone fuelled environment. On the other hand, as a man she will have experienced things that others can only dream of, the sights, the competition, the victory etc.

 

I hope, if she wants to, she can come to a place where she is at peace with her past and appreciate the achievements of (and this is where it's tricky) herself / Robert.

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