"CYCLE LANE"

I had a similar incident but this involved a member of our local constabulary, believe it or not.  He drove beside me and demanded I used the cycle path and, when I refused, proceeded to block my path and then got out to lecture me.

He looked a bit sheepish when I told him how the Highway Code works and that I don't need to use the cycle path even if there is one.  He had no idea about the speed limit of a cycle path either which I was exceeding whilst on the road!

As you were, cuntstubble.

@Leviathan

Wonder if your driver with cycling infrastructure Tourette's was a visiting Labour party member from West Ham?

http://road.cc/content/news/216828-west-ham-labour-party-calls-cyclists-...

Bear spray.

"I thought it was deodorant for hairy homosexuals, officer."

I know this exact road. I wouldn't call it an oasis at peak times, it's a main commuter route. As there are not many places you can easily cross the m60 and the river Mersey, it's used by many commuting cyclists. In 2014, to make it more bike/pedestrian friendly, the road had its carriageway narrowed and speed limit dropped from 40 to 30mph. The pavement was then widened and turned (contraversially) into a shared use pavement. The thing is going North (as the OP) was, if you don't know the road, it's difficult to get on the pavement as it's Southbound. You have to do a cheeky right turn after leaving Cheadle village. There's no big road sign with information. Going North it's a slight downhill and if you've got the legs easily possible to average over 20-25mph. The pavement isn't lit that well, and isn't gritted in the Winter. Sometimes people playing football nearby have confused it for a parking bay despite double yellow lines. Most of the time going North or South, it's really busy, so I go for the quiet life and use the shitty path. Once when it was snowing, going North I had to use the main carriageway and had a Neanderthal deliberately swerve his car into me, shouting cycle lane. So I learned my "lesson" there. Fortunately I didn't catch him at the lights or he might have learned a "lesson" from me! All I can hope is karma being a bitch caused him to skid on an untreated surface and crash into a brick wall on the way home.

at a T junction with lights I had a bloke shout at me to get on the pavement. I said "seriously, that's illegal" to which he said "why are you out here" pointing out that I was in the second lane, to which I replied "because i'm turning right" and so he got out of the car and started pushing and shoving me shouting you got a f'in problem have you.
The stupid thing is that I was being nice to him and waiting behind him at the lights, he was stopped in the advanced stop zone for cyclists. He was also about 65 years old and in pretty poor shape so not the most capable fighter if it had come to blows.

Just this morning, around half 6 so not much traffic around, I stopped at traffic lights behind 2 cars. The first car had gone up to the advance stop line so I thought it best to stay in the queue. Not wanting anyone to pull up beside me, I took the lane. Next thing, some tit in a small white van comes alongside and barges in front of me despite there only being around half a cars length to the car in front.

 He actually used his van to push me out of the way. What makes this worse is that he was heading straight on and could have used the other lane (which was empty)

When I knocked on the window to find out what the hell he  was doing, he shouted "you should be in the f'ing cycle lane". I think he was referring to the short stretch leading up to the asl!

it never fails to amaze, and concern, me that some people are so ignorant they are willing to endanger others just because they think they are right!

I once got shouted at for being on the road on a descent into a local village, on an A-road - apparently I should have been on the far too narrow shared-use pavement at the side of the road, which passed several gates and entrances before stopping at a side road in about a hundred metres...   At least, that's the message I took from the middle aged lady screaming at me whilst hanging out of the passenger window of the Audi passing me at speed.

This reminds me of the time I was asked "why don't you ride on the pavement like all you other c***s"

Cockwomble and Wankpuffin are my 2 favourite words I've learned from this site.

 I now use them as the response to drivers who shout similar 'advice' about using non existent infrastructure - ie

"Read the Highway Code you Wankpuffin"

Even if there was a 15 metre wide cycle lane with a bike mechanic supporting you, beaming sunshine and a bar at the end; you have no legal requirement to use it.

You might as well shout "helicopter" in response!

My favourite repsonse  is;

Read the Highway code!

Maybe he's a frustrated civil engineer having his Falling Down moment, driving around shouting out obvious failings in infrastructure... "PEDESTRIAN FOOTBRIDGE", "HIGH-SPEED TRANSPENNINE RAIL LINK"...

Had a similar occurence last summer cycling south on the A57 past Barton aerodrome, on a sunday morning.

Its a dual carriageway with 2 lanes in each direction and a shared use path on the northbound carriageway. Its a busy road during the week, full of HGVs and commuters, but on the sunday morning in question the traffic levels were similar to that shown in the Streetview link below:

https://www.google.co.uk/maps/@53.4701571,-2.3838422,3a,75y,219.45h,73.1t/data=!3m6!1e1!3m4!1sEjjq4mJf5gYhpCRdFt8Sew!2e0!7i13312!8i6656!6m1!1e1?hl=en

Now admittedly I wasn't doing 40kph like Leviathan, its a long slight uphill incline and I was out for a leisurely 2 hour ride so I was probably doing 20 - 25kph enjoying the quiet and listening to the bird song.

This tranquility was suddenly shattered when a car doing at least 50mph passed within a foot of me with horn blaring, scaring the bejeezus out of me, then haring off into the distance.

Okay, I'm still alive, don't let the cockwomble ruin what had been until then a pleasurable ride, let the heart rate normalise...

Hang about -- what's this at the next layby / access point?  It's only the same wankpuffin jumping out of his car and shouting at me that I shouldn't be on the road and that I should be on the cycle lane.

In this occasion, I decided that attempting to disabuse the gentleman of his misconceprions and educate him on the rules of the road was probably not the wisest move, and so chose instead to continue cycling safely in the inside lane of the left hand carriageway...

In cases like that I usually reply with Air Zound and appropriate "you idiot" gesture.

Yes, I see what you mean, I can't see a cycle lane either!  It would be dangerous for pedestrians for you to cycle on the pavement, and I think that's illegal isn't it?