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BUYER'S GUIDE

13 of the best cycling chamois creams to look after your bum

Find out why there are special creams to lubricate your shorts and which ones are best

If you’re new to cycling, you may have heard talk of a mysterious preparation called chamois cream. You may have wondered what chamois cream is, but, realising that it’s something to do with your undercarriage, been too embarrassed to ask. To spare your blushes, we’re going to tell you, and point you to the best chamois creams.

  • Chamois cream provides a layer of lubrication between your skin and the pad in your shorts, helping keep you comfortable

  • Chamois cream is especially useful for long rides and for indoor training where you may not move around on the saddle very much

  • As well as lubricants, many chamois creams contain anti-bacterial and anti-fungal ingredients to help keep you problem-free down there

  • For a cheap alternative check out the udder creams designed to soothe cows' teats; buy in bulk and you can get a kilogram for the price of a small tub of cycling chamois cream

13 of the best chamois creams for 2021

The liner in cycling shorts is these days made from a sandwich of very clever foams and synthetic fabrics, designed to sit against your skin and keep you comfortable. The outer layer in particular is designed not to chafe your skin and to move with you as you pedal.

Wind the clock back 30-odd years or so and there were no fancy synthetic shorts liners. Instead, what you found when you turned your shorts inside out was a piece of soft leather, made from the skin of a chamois goat. That’s right, one of these:

Chamois goat (CC BY 2.0 Jean Latour | Flickr).jpg

Chamois goat (CC BY 2.0 Jean Latour | Flickr)

The problem with a leather lining is that it relies on the natural oils in the leather for its softness and comfort. Washing — especially machine washing — removes those oils, so you have to replace them. That’s where original chamois cream came in. It was a goop that replaced the oils in chamois leather, keeping it soft so you could wear it against your skin, and stopping it from cracking.

A useful side-effect of chamois cream was that it provided a layer of lubrication on top of the leather that further helped prevent chafing. Even though there’s no need to treat modern pads with chamois cream to keep them supple, it can be useful to keep you comfortable.

There are three situations when chamois cream is particularly useful: for very long rides; for indoor training, where you're on the saddle almost all the time; and for returning to cycling after a few weeks off.

When you ride, your skin adapts to the pressure of your weight on the saddle and toughens up. If you take a break from cycling your skin returns to its original softness, at least partially. Chamois cream helps keep your bits comfy until they toughen up again.

A ride substantially longer than usual do is similar. Your undercarriage may be toughened up for 50- or 60-mile rides and you may have done enough training you’re confident of completing a century, but the extra distance can make you sore enough that the last few miles are no fun at all. Chamois cream to the rescue, preventing a sore bottom.

Chamois creams also contain anti-bacterial and anti-fungal ingredients to help reduce the likelihood of skin infections. Basic hygiene helps too — get out of your shorts and get showered as soon as possible after a ride; always wash shorts between wears — but an extra line of protection against the dreaded saddle sores can’t hurt.

In the comments there's been some discussion of the best way to apply chamois cream. For what it's worth my sort of hybrid approach is to smear it on my shorts pad and put some in the cracks and crevices between legs, butt and genitals: basically, anywhere skin can rub against skin. The longer the planned ride, the more on the pad.

Most chamois cream manufacturers offer creams for both men and women. The women's creams, they say, have a different pH more suited to women's skin and often have less or no tingly ingredients like peppermint or menthol. There's a good chance you're going to get some cream on the genital mucus membranes and for some women that's going to be massively irritating if there are minty ingredients in the mix.

Chamois cream brands tend to come and go, but to give you a feel for what's out there, here are some of our favourites.

Premax Performance Skincare Chamois Cream for Women — £23

Premax Chamois Cream for Women is similar to the men's version in its price and fancy looks but formulated with ingredients for women's skin to balance pH and aid moisture while smelling good. It's long-lasting, feels amazing and delivers a very pleasant experience.

Tester Janine writes: "I tested the Premax over a month of riding during a hot, sweaty July on both the Wahoo trainer and out in the real world, and I noticed a positive difference to mid-ride saddle comfort and post-ride soreness across both. On indoor rides in particular, though, I noticed fewer hot spots and less overall chafe when testing on back to back days with and without the cream. The formula claims to be 'ultra-endurance' and given the long-lasting comfort I'd be very happy taking this with me on a multi-day in terms of comfort.

" I loved the natural formula, it would be nice to see more brands moving away from ingredients lists that are hard to decipher. Compared to other women's products out there, it's a serious contender among the premium options thanks to its durability, silky feel and nice smell – there's just that niggle that each time you slather it on, you're one step closer to forking out another £24."

Read our review of Premax Performance Skincare Chamois Cream for Women

Elite Ozone Endurance Protect Cream — £15.26

Elite Ozone Endurance Protect Cream is a chamois cream which does its job well, although you'd hope so, sitting as it does at the top end of the price scale.

Tester John writes: "I was struck by the consistency; good and thick so only a thumb sized amount is required. The thick consistency works well in providing ride long protection, one application lasted an eight-hour mountain bike race, with no sores the day after.

"Overall I was impressed with Endurance Protect Cream; so much in fact that it has taken the place of Assos as my king of chamois creams. If you're looking for a chamois cream to sell the concept to you, go for Ozone."

Read our review of the Elite Ozone Endurance Protect Cream

Muc-Off Athlete Performance Luxury Chamois Cream Pour Femme 100ml — £12.50

It may be a bit of a mouthful, but Athlete Performance Luxury Chamois Cream – Pour Femme is, you guessed it, the female-specific version of the consistently very well reviewed Athlete Performance Luxury Chamois Cream (formerly branded Muc-Off). Like the men's cream, it does its job really well, keeping you comfy in the saddle on long rides thanks to a formula that means it stays put yet doesn't feel greasy.

Tester Siobhan writes: "When you first apply it there's a pleasing cooling sensation, which lasts a good hour or so, but no unpleasant tingling. I was initially surprised at how thick a consistency it has for a tube cream, but that means a little goes a long way and there's no issue with it absorbing into your skin.

"It's a costly cream (though better value in the hard-to-find 250ml tub for £22.50) but it's not bad value because it is long lasting compared to some other brands. So if you tend to go out on long rides of, say, five to six hours, it's worth the money because you shouldn't need to reapply it all day."

Read our review of Muc-Off Athlete Performance Luxury Chamois Cream Pour Femme

BeElite Chamois Cream — £10

BeElite Chamois Cream

I have a slightly eccentric system for buying chamois cream. If I need some, I find whatever's cheapest on t'Interwebs when I'm buying something else, and grab a couple of tubs. That's how I discovered BeElite Chamois Cream which at £10 for 250ml is one of the cheapest shorts lubes around. And it turns out to be really good, too.

Be Elite contains, among other things, olus oil, beeswax, aloe vera, shea butter, menthol and peppermint for that zingy feel, and a buttload of other plant oils and extracts. It's a thick, almost solid cream that needs a bit of effort to get it moving to spread over your shorts liner, but once it's in place it stays there. The practical upshot of all this is that it's nicely slippery and stays that way for ages, whether you're out on the road all day or doing a long turbo session. Bargain!

Read our review of BeElite Chamois Cream

Bend36 Chamois Cream — £13.99

Bend36 Mens Chamois Cream

Bend36 Chamois Cream is a good-quality cream that delivers plenty of on-bike comfort. It's not cheap, but it does do a good job.

Bend36 is named after the 36 hairpins on the Passo dello Stelvio (when you're climbing from Bormio; there are 48 on the other side) and it's a brand that's been developed in part by Alberto Contador and Ivan Basso. Between them they should know a thing or two about staying comfortable in the saddle.

Chamois creams can vary quite a lot in their consistency. This one has a pretty firm, waxy feel and the ingredients list is mostly a bunch of different waxes and emulsifiers. It also contains calendula extract (a type of marigold) that has natural anti-fungal, anti-inflammatory, and antibacterial properties.

Read our review of Bend36 Chamois Cream
Find a Bend36 dealer

Crotch Guard Skin Care Oil — from £18.02

Crotch Guard Skin Care Oil

Crotch Guard Skin Care Oil is a chamois cream that isn't because it's an oil. It's different to a barrier cream, Crotch Guard claiming that it works 'in' the skin rather than 'on' the skin. It's a difference that works. Really well.

Crotch Guard's maker says that the oils in its product mimic the molecular structure of the lipids (fats, to you and me) found in human skin and therefore strengthen and reinforce the structure of the skin. Traditional chamois creams usually provide a protective barrier to guard the skin from rubbing against other surfaces, but these can clog pores, promote ingrown hairs and stain clothing. Crotch Guard says that its oil supports the physiology of the skin's natural lipids so it is recognised and accepted by the human body, which then absorbs it to help support the skin's natural barrier and protective functions.

It's not cheap at £18.02 for 118ml, but for the price of postage (£1) they'll send you a 10ml sample.

Read our review of Crotch Guard Skin Care Oil

Paceline Chamois Butt'r Her — £10.08

Paceline Products Chamois Buttr Her.jpg

​Paceline Products Chamois Butt'r Her' is the women's version of the original Chamois Butt'r skin lubricant, which has been soothing and softening men's bits and bottoms since 1993. The Her' cream shares some of the key ingredients – aloe vera to soothe irritated skin, vitamins A and E – but is pH balanced specifically for ladies, so you can put it 'everywhere' and there's no tingling sensation (which you may see as a good or bad thing).

It also shares the same price as the men's, and is very good value compared to the likes of Assos Chamois Creme Woman, especially considering you can find the 235ml (8 fl oz) tube discounted from the £15.99 RRP.

Read our review of Paceline Chamois Butt'r Her
Find a Paceline dealer

Veloskin Chamois Cream — £14

Veloskin Chamois Cream.jpg

VeloSkin Chamois Cream is a thick, luxurious skin treatment that smells great and holds up on long rides. If you're a fan of chamois creams, you should try this. It feels like a real top-end luxury item. The smart black metal pot holds the most wonderfully thick, luxuriant paste I've ever smeared onto my nethers. The scent is distinctive and pleasing, with a good dose of bergamot – a key ingredient in true Eau de Cologne, it is worth remembering, so at the very least it should lend your shorts an olfactory touch of class.

Read our review of Veloskin Chamois Cream
Find a Veloskin dealer

2Toms Buttshield — £15.99

2Toms Butt Shield.jpg

2Toms Buttshield is a very, very good chamois cream, although it's not really a cream and more of a liquid. It's odourless, goes on without any mess and, thanks to the application method of rolling a thin film on the skin, there's no chance of over lubing. Buttshield is very smooth and silky to the touch and doesn't feel in any way unpleasantly clammy or sticky once it's in place down where it needs to be.

And once Buttshield is there it stays down there, even over the longest rides. Despite not being able to feel it between your legs (a good thing) it does work (also a good thing), preventing rubbing and soreness for whatever length ride you choose to be on.

Read our review of 2Toms Butt Shield

Happy Bottom Bum Butter — £17.99

Bikemonger's Happy Bottom Bum Butter - Open Tub.jpg

Bikemonger's Happy Bottom Bum Butter is a distinctly different unguent for down below, more a wax than a cream, but it nevertheless lubes your bits really well and lasts a long time.

Happy Bottom Bum Butter is not your normal kind of chamois cream, not just because it's hand produced in Dorset just up the road from Charlie the Bikemonger's shop, and not because it's completely chemical free, made from 100% natural ingredients and also vegan friendly.

It isn't a cream, or even very much like butter – well, maybe butter from the fridge as it's very solid in consistency, firmer even than lip balm, more like surf wax according to those who know such things.

Read our review of Bikemonger's Happy Bottom Bum Butter

Muc-Off Luxury Chamois Cream — £14.00

Muc-Off Luxury Chamois Cream .jpg

Muc-Off's Luxury Chamois Cream performs really well. That's the bottom line here. When it comes to the other kind of bottom line – the financial kind – you might be put off by the £20 RRP. That's assuming you buy it for the full retail price, though: shop around.

Muc-Off's formulation is anti-bacterial (containing aloe vera and witch hazel) and has a ‘mild cooling function’ – a bit tingly but nothing like some I've tried. It's pleasant enough when applied.

Once it's there, it stays there and does a good job of staving off any chafing from your shorts.

Read our review of Muc-Off Luxury Chamois Cream
Find a Muc-Off dealer

Assos Chamois Crème (200ml) — £19.50

Assos Chamois Creme.jpg

A mainstay of many cyclists' bathroom cabinets, Assos chamois cream is a classic that basically Just Works. It's durable, thick but spreadable and has a minty smell that translates into an, ahem, interesting cooling sensation as a well-prepped pad contacts your bits.

Assos has recently upped the size of a tub from 140ml to 200ml.

Read our review of the Assos Chamois Creme
Find an Assos dealer

Sportique Century Riding Cream (180ml) — £11.99

Sportique Century riding cream.jpg

If you're a fan of long hours in the saddle then you've probably got a favourite chamois cream already. Even if you swear by one particular unguent or another, you should give this Sportique Century Riding Cream a go. Because it's brilliant.

t's incredibly tenacious. You stick this on your pad and it'll still be there when you get off the bike, no matter how long that is. Even after 15 straight hours in the saddle on a warm day it was doing the business. No chafing, no soreness, no nothing.

Read our review of the Sportique Century Riding Cream (180ml)

Explore the complete archive of reviews of chamois creams and other skincare products on road.cc

Cafe wisdom

Road.cc readers are a rich source of knowledge and experience when it comes to cycling and have had lots to say about chamois creams in previous versions of this article. Here's the pick of your thoughts, opinion and advice on chamois cream.

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Sudocrem seems to do the job for me.

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I was just going to ask, apart from the price tag, is there any difference between any of these products and sudocrem

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rjfrussell wrote:

I was just going to ask, apart from the price tag, is there any difference between any of these products and sudocrem

 

As a parent and hence great admirer and user of Sudocrem, E45 and the like - yes, there is a difference IMO although the prices of some of these is frankly bonkers.

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Suducrem is very sticky but does work. Chamois cream I find is better, I apply some to the padding and the rest to delicate parts, for many hours comfortable saddle time

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Sudocrem is an extringent, which means it will dry your skin out. Bepanthan is a better cream for that purpose and would work well as a chamois cream, it is longer lasting and better in sweat or wet conditions than sudocrem because it is more oily. Personally though, just use chamois crème. I use the assos one twice a day for commuting through winter and a tub lasts 6 months (mine is close to running out after starting to use in October). I do 140 miles a week, 1 hour each way (10 hours a week).

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Helpful article, as an ex-MTBer I was never quite sure what the "application protocol" was. Having only applied directly to bot/nads up to this point, there is a simpler way. You learn something every day.

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if you read the instructions on many chamois cream packages, it says "not to be applied to mucous membranes" (I think we can guess what those are...)

this means chamois cream should only be applied to the 'cheeks' of your buttocks, rather than more intimate areas

I'd suggest using something like Savlon if required on those intimate areas, and chamois cream for the rest?

there was no mention of the differences between men's and women's chamois creams in the article, Elite for example do a women's version which does not contain menthol or other irritants

a great tip given to me by a pro cyclist some years back was to use wet wipes after visiting the toilet, especially before application of chamois cream, as dry toilet paper often leaves faecal matter on your behind, and you don't want that on your shorts when doing 100km

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rtw replied to stem

 

stem wrote:

Sudocrem seems to do the job for me.

 

Really? Sudocrem is a water resistant protective cream, making a layer which is inpregnable to moisture. Great for protecting against nappy rash, but also prone to blocking pores in a sweaty saddle environment. I'm surprised that your experience is good!

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. . replied to Pipeyrw

 

Pipeyrw wrote:

Having only applied directly to bot/nads up to this point, there is a simpler way. You learn something every day.

I found out the hard way that applying only to the pad doesn't work. (Look away now if squeamish). I get sores along the crease between cheek and thigh. It needs direct application well beyond the width of the pad.

As an aside, I use chamois cream to prevent jogger's nipple too.

Interesting that road.cc rates Century Cream. I was given a free sample, but for me it wasn't even good for a half-Century. I'm strictly Assos now..

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Old country remedy - udder mint. Anti bac, cooling, cheap, designed to prevent sores on cow boobs, will lubricate and prevent your delicate areas from cracking. Somewhat tingly when first applied so use sparingly.

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I must have missed the bit in the article where it told us where to apply the cream. So much for a beginners guide! I've only used it a couple of times, not noticed much difference. I got a free sample of some Rapha stuff and I applied it to cheeks, nuts and pad - other than a legendary cold feeling (think the opposite to deep heat) I can't say chamois cream has made any difference to me.

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Vaseline works for me

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Northumber_lad wrote:

I must have missed the bit in the article where it told us where to apply the cream.

They never do in these articles anywhere. They all shy away from saying that you need to get it right in your cracks where the skin rubs. It's a lubricant so put it where you need lubricating. There's a comment above about putting it on one's buttocks, but why? What on earth do your buttocks rub against while cycling?

My favourite brand is Udderly Smooth.

Apart from lubrication the absolute top tip about avoiding sores and jock itch - which I've never seen mentioned in the cycling press - is making your own colloidal silver and spraying it on the same crevices with a cheap kitchen spray bottle. An ounce of 99.9% pure silver can cost as little as £12 and will last for ever in making colloidal silver, then you need a few spent AA batteries from remote controls around the house, about £8's worth of battery holder, crocodile clips and wire from Maplin, a big glass coffee jar, some distilled water from Halfords, and you'll be able to make a lifetime's supply of safe antibacterial/fungicide that will keep you free of jock itch, athlete's foot, etc., as well as having loads of other germ-killing uses.

Many expensive cycling shorts mention that their chamois contain anti-bacterial silver but you can make your own colloidal silver for virtually nothing and use it wherever you don't want bacteria.

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Another vote for Udderly Smooth as being a great nut butter. I smear it everywhere, paying close attention to my... um... taint.

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hampstead_bandit wrote:

if you read the instructions on many chamois cream packages, it says "not to be applied to mucous membranes" (I think we can guess what those are...)

this means chamois cream should only be applied to the 'cheeks' of your buttocks, rather than more intimate areas

 

I think you have confused the words "intimate" and "inside". The mucus membranes referred to are inside your anus. Don't stick chamois cream up your bumhole. That's what it means. The parabens in chamois cream are not good for you when absorbed internally.

No part of your epidermis is a mucus membrane so it's fine to rub chamois cream into your groinal crevices.

If you need internal lubrication while cycling then I really think you should switch to using a saddle.

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sanderville wrote:

groinal crevices

 

That's cheered me up no end.

Keith Bontrager on chamois creme from about a decade ago (still worth a read): http://autobus.cyclingnews.com/riders/2006/diaries/keith/?id=keith0606

This bit stuck in my memory (and not just because KB misspelt Coucheval):

"The trick to effective lubrication for a long stage is to use a lot.. Smear the stuff onto the chamois in a large quantity - three fingers worth, minimum. It should feel weird when you put you shorts on. That won't matter. But you want it to last all day, so you need a lot. That's why I don't want to use any expensive Swiss stuff. It would cost a fortune. The quantity thing came from an observation I made at the TdF in 2000. I was walking around in the pits on a rest day in Courchavel, France with some German journalists, weighing bikes. I noticed a lot of saddles were glistening, covered with fat. I'd been playing with chamois preps for the TransAlp, and had moderate success with them. But the appearance of the pros' saddles gave it away. They used copious quantities of the stuff."

"Weird when you put your shorts on" is what I am aiming for.

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Speet0 replied to sanderville

 

sanderville]</p>

 

<p>[quote=hampstead_bandit wrote:

If you need internal lubrication while cycling then I really think you should switch to using a saddle.

 

Cracked me up, thank you!

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Quote:

Don't stick chamois cream up your bumhole.

I think the mucous membranes bit probably applies to women using it. I doubt many cyclists manage to apply it, errrmmm, internally.

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I'm a fan of the Morgan Blue solid chamois cream, it's akin to beeswax which may be close to the truth! Particularly good for wet rides.

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SevenHills replied to Speet0

 

Speet0]</p>

 

<p>[quote=sanderville wrote:

 

hampstead_bandit wrote:

If you need internal lubrication while cycling then I really think you should switch to using a saddle.

 

Cracked me up, thank you!

 

Rather that than "up me crack!"

Sorry I'll get me coat.

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Must try one of these specialist products one day, but coco butter (the hard stuff) works wonders, and it is cheap as chips.

If you do have any sores, then metanium (nappy rash cream) works wonders. Caution, you only need a pea sized amount unless you want to cover your entire body. Much better than Sudocrem which blocks pores.

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Tried Udderly, wife also nabbed some for her sewing! Looked at the ingredients, almost identical to Cetraben emolloient cream which I happen to get on prescription. It isonly about £7 for a 500gm dispenser and is a moisturiser that lubes your rear end rather well. As some suggest you can put loads on, very good when I am on hols in SW France, stands the heat well. Also means you are not putting any additional medications on as with Metanium and sudocreme etc. Does give a temporary watrming sensation at first to sensitive skin, but that rapidly passes.

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I've started using Crotch Guard, it's an oil specially formulated for long days in the saddle. I can say for me it's been a revelation and I know others say similar. I've never been as comfortable after hours in the saddle with chamois cream as I have with Crotch Guard. It's easier to apply as you just give a couple of squirts from the bottle and you don't get any of the cold damp clammy feeling you get from chamois cream, I can't praise this product enough it's really been that good for me. It's only available direct from the US but they have just announced a deal with a UK distributor.

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hampstead_bandit wrote:

I'd suggest using something like Savlon on those intimate areas …

That really doesn't seem like a good idea to me. Or my arse.

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sanderville wrote:

If you need internal lubrication while cycling then I really think you should switch to using a saddle.

I did once have a saddle issue, trying to ride up a ridiculously steep ramp, ran out of momentum couldn't reach the ground.

(Mountain bike)

Became quite intimate with my saddle. Still such a freak occurence, don't think I'd put chamois cream there, just in case.

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I use a 50% Lanolin product, "Lantiseptic". Lanolin is a byproduct of wool, it is the oil from the sheepskin that must be separated from the wool before making clothing. Having suffered a couple a sebaceous cysts in the past, this seems to be working so far.

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Wait... you spread the chamois on the pad?

Not on your...

Right.

Moving swiftly on

*whistles*

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I've tried both Assos (good but expensive) and Conotrane (cheaper, longer lasting and possibly more effective).

I also give the whole area a good wipe with anti-bacterial wipes before applying the cream.

Sudocrem is good if you are a bit sore after the ride, although if you have been doing the lubrication right, it shouldn't happen. However I don't think Sudocrem has enough of a lubricating action to make an effective chamois cream.

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You're right Andy. Sudocrem is an 'after' cream. Chamois cream is a 'before' cream.

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I quite like the minty bumhole sensation I get from Assos cream. I never realised i had smell/taste buds in my dark star.

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Butty replied to StraelGuy

 

guyrwood wrote:
Quote:

Don't stick chamois cream up your bumhole.

I think the mucous membranes bit probably applies to women using it. I doubt many cyclists manage to apply it, errrmmm, internally.

So I don't need to grease the tube if I bought one of those shark fin saddles?

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exilegareth replied to kil0ran

 

kil0ran wrote:

Old country remedy - udder mint. Anti bac, cooling, cheap, designed to prevent sores on cow boobs, will lubricate and prevent your delicate areas from cracking. Somewhat tingly when first applied so use sparingly.

Used something very similar as a substitute for vaseline before a rugby match once - it worked a treat on the vulnerable areas (back of the neck wherethe shirt rubs in the scrums).

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I use a 50% lanolin compound "Lantiseptic" used a lot in nursing homes. (I'm 55). More expensive than the cheapest generic skin cream, but much cheaper than cycle-specific creams/lubes. Use a ton and rub it in with rubbing alcohol, so can really finish a 300 or 400 k brevet without re-application.

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Does anyone else find this slightly amusing?

All these people talking about chamois cream and I bet none actually ride with a chamois leather. Willing to bet most have never had a pair of shorts with chamois leather that apparently hardens after washing thus required softening.

I was under the impression that a good quality pad allowed your body to move independantly to the saddle and therefore does not require extra lubrication.

Oh for the record, I use Blue Steel more for it's anti-septic/bacterial and barrier cream qualities, a little seems to go a long way. It also seems to be good to use when you have a long journey before you can get to a shower without have to resort to filling the world with wet wipes or other "disposable" items.

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I well remember woollen shorts with a 'proper' shammy (bought from Ron Kitching, purveyor of quality cycling goods), I used to use my wife's E45 cream to soften the shammy up, those were the days smiley

Incidentally, colloidal silver can cause some nasty side effects, see https://nccih.nih.gov/health/silver (link is external)

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I also rode woolen shorts with a real chamois back in the early 1970's. The chamois cream we used then was a much different product to that on sale today. Back then it was definitely applied to the pad to soften and make the pad pliable. It was a flippin' chore every time you washed your shorts.

Todays products seem to be more of a skin conditioner which can, incidentally also be applied to the pad.

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sanderville wrote:

 

hampstead_bandit wrote:

if you read the instructions on many chamois cream packages, it says "not to be applied to mucous membranes" (I think we can guess what those are...)

this means chamois cream should only be applied to the 'cheeks' of your buttocks, rather than more intimate areas

 

I think you have confused the words "intimate" and "inside". The mucus membranes referred to are inside your anus. Don't stick chamois cream up your bumhole. That's what it means. The parabens in chamois cream are not good for you when absorbed internally.

No part of your epidermis is a mucus membrane so it's fine to rub chamois cream into your groinal crevices.

If you need internal lubrication while cycling then I really think you should switch to using a saddle.

 

OMG this!!! Made my day!

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Morgan Blue Solid for me, if you like the more waxy type. Supposed to be for wet weather use but I use it all year round.

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+1 for Udderly Smooth. It works. Not even expensive. And you get a free pun with every pack!

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The Bikemonger's Bum Butter gets my vote - best chamois creme I've used, and I have tried many over the years.

Not listed here is Rapha's stuff, which is also great. Similar consistency to the Bikemonger Bum Butter, maybe a little thicker, but with a different set of herbs driving the nasal charms.

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Conotrane Cream works well, antiseptic and £10 or so for a 500g tub.

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There's only one of these I would put on my arse, Assos every time!

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That Muc-Off tub looked like a M4/3 lens in the thumbnail, and I thought 'Oooh!'

Never used them and never will, as I'm vegan. Never had bum soreness, either, except when I get on the bike after a break, and that lasts a few hours at the most.

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Tried the Crotch Guard liquid, very expensive if you buy the small bottle, as the postage is the same for this as the bigger bottles. It's non messy and you don't need to wash your hands, apart from the obvious reason, whereas you do with ordinary creams

It isn't as good as Assos or the Paceline creams, which I use. Ive used a tube of the Sportique Century cream, it's good but I didn't like it's smell.

Assos is my default to go to.

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I recall reading that Team GB use some available from your local chemist stuff called Doublebase gel. Personally, I tend to use E45.

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For endurance riders the women's version of the Muc-off chamois cream is better - stickier than the 'men's' version, it lasts longer (also has less 'perfume').

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Maybe start giving zero points to creames that come in packaging that cannot be fully and easily recycled (not including downcycling into something that then can't also be recycled).

These products are plenty expensive enough for the manufacturers to be able to reconsider their packaging materials.

Looks like I might have to check out VeloSkin next time I need some.

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Good point. I like the Muc-Off Athlete performance stuff, but the tub comes in an utterly redundant cardboard box. So that, and the fact I've found Sudocrem seems to work just as well for me at half the price, means I won't be buying it again.

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Sriracha replied to Natrix
Natrix wrote:

Incidentally, colloidal silver can cause some nasty side effects, see https://nccih.nih.gov/health/silver (link is external)

Only if you eat your shorts:

Quote:

Topical silver (used on the skin) has some appropriate medical uses, such as in bandages and dressings to treat burns, skin wounds, or skin infections. It’s also in medicines to prevent conjunctivitis (an eye condition) in newborns. However, there are no legally marketed prescription or over-the-counter drugs containing colloidal silver that are taken by mouth.

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