Danish police seek man who repeatedly masturbates onto woman's bicycle saddle

Victim's bike targeted five times, always on a Wednesday, while parked at train station

by Simon_MacMichael   March 5, 2013  

Parked bikes (copyright Simon MacMichael)_

Police in Denmark have gone public with news that a female cyclist is being targeted by a man who masturbates onto her bicycle’s saddle while it is parked at a train station, hoping that media coverage will shame the perpetrator into stopping.

On five occasions now, all of them on a Wednesday, the 19-year-old woman has returned to Mørdrup Station to discover that her saddle has been targeted by the anonymous onanist, says The Copenhagen Post, citing a report from the tabloid newspaper Ekstra Bladet.

“At first I thought that it was some kind of sick joke, but when it happened for the third time I decided it was enough and reported it to the police. It’s bloody disgusting,” said the victim, who unsurprisingly does not want her identity to be known.

She also says that she believes children in a local primary school playground may be able to see the man as he commited the offence.

Henrik Hattel, assistant police commissioner for North Zealand, commented: “We’re hoping that this will get the freak to quit doing it. That’s the most important thing for us. It’s difficult to say how we should punish the man.”

It was not reported whether police were looking at other measures such as deploying camera surveillance or positioning officers nearby on a Wednesday.

Although the woman has not actually seen the perpetrator while he is engaged in his solitary act, assistant commissioner Henk believes that law relating to indecent exposure may apply in this case.

"Otherwise the woman wouldn’t have called us,” he explained. “Her decency has been violated on some kind of level.”

The Copenhagen Post, whose story has the rather arresting headline of ‘Woman stalked by serial bicycle-seat wanker,’ says that so far no witnesses have been found, nor have they tested the substance left on the saddle to confirm it actually is semen, however they have no doubts over the veracity of the victim’s report.

27 user comments

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Eugh, too much information road.cc. I really didn't need to read this whilst eating my lunch Sick

(guess I shouldn't have clicked on the link then ...)

FatDadOnABike's picture

posted by FatDadOnABike [13 posts]
5th March 2013 - 13:06

9 Likes

okay...

that hits a 10 on my weird shit o-meter

posted by mad_scot_rider [547 posts]
5th March 2013 - 13:07

6 Likes

What a w*nker.

Gkam84's picture

posted by Gkam84 [8825 posts]
5th March 2013 - 13:12

8 Likes

Anonymous Onanist

Could be a downtempo drum & bass act.

phy2sll's picture

posted by phy2sll [26 posts]
5th March 2013 - 13:16

6 Likes

“We’re hoping that this will get the freak to quit doing it"

we've gone way past political correctness here!

Racer 074 for the 2014 Transcontinental Race; 2,000 miles from London to Istanbul.

http://themartincox.co.uk/2014/03/racer-074-transcontinental-race-2014/

posted by themartincox [343 posts]
5th March 2013 - 13:18

9 Likes

Noticed the Wiggle Etape Cymru advert on this page ? Check the jersey ...

Cycling - not just a pastime or sport - free your soul on the open road.

timbola's picture

posted by timbola [208 posts]
5th March 2013 - 13:21

6 Likes

How unpleasant.

They don't say what kind of bike it was but I'm guessing it's a Colnago?

I'm a human being, God damn it! My life has value. I’m as mad as hell and I’m not going to take this anymore.

posted by Carl [135 posts]
5th March 2013 - 13:38

7 Likes

Those parked bikes are getting me proper aroused.

posted by andyp [863 posts]
5th March 2013 - 14:56

7 Likes

According to the Copenhagen Post report, the police haven't even established that it's semen on the saddle; it's just been on the say so of the accuser. And nobody's seen anybody cracking one off onto the saddle. Curiouser and curiouser. And how did she determine that it was indeed semen, I wonder... Time to call in Sarah Lund.

dullard's picture

posted by dullard [140 posts]
5th March 2013 - 15:20

7 Likes

timbola wrote:
Noticed the Wiggle Etape Cymru advert on this page ? Check the jersey ...

very droll Smile

Dave Atkinson's picture

posted by Dave Atkinson [7331 posts]
5th March 2013 - 15:23

7 Likes

dullard wrote:
According to the Copenhagen Post report, the police haven't even established that it's semen on the saddle; it's just been on the say so of the accuser. And nobody's seen anybody cracking one off onto the saddle. Curiouser and curiouser. And how did she determine that it was indeed semen, I wonder... Time to call in Sarah Lund.

perhaps it's just some wayward energy gel from a passing roadie, and there's a lot of linden trees near the station

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4p0uw42cdo

Big Grin

Dave Atkinson's picture

posted by Dave Atkinson [7331 posts]
5th March 2013 - 15:24

9 Likes

Hope this story has a happy ending.

posted by Mat Brett [1870 posts]
5th March 2013 - 15:43

6 Likes

dullard wrote:
Time to call in Sarah Lund.

That could well make the problem worse.

posted by ubercurmudgeon [168 posts]
5th March 2013 - 15:51

6 Likes

Wednesday Wanker,obviously!!

antonio

antonio's picture

posted by antonio [952 posts]
5th March 2013 - 15:54

5 Likes

Come on...

posted by merckxman [35 posts]
5th March 2013 - 16:29

9 Likes

merckxman wrote:
Come on...

It must be a Crank Brothers saddle bag...

posted by merckxman [35 posts]
5th March 2013 - 16:33

8 Likes

Surely someone must have seen him coming by now?

posted by Sadly Biggins [264 posts]
5th March 2013 - 19:26

7 Likes

Honestly who would get off on this sort of sick, twisted stuff. Really sickening, I mean cant this individual just a get a girlfriend like a normal guy and stop obsessing over girls on bikes. I mean there is seriously something wrong here. Now we have all once or twice strayed onto www.copenhagencyclechic.com but, come on, this really takes the biscuit. Sick

Iration Wheelers's picture

posted by Iration Wheelers [5 posts]
5th March 2013 - 19:48

7 Likes

Iration Wheelers wrote:
... Now we have all once or twice strayed onto www.copenhagencyclechic.com but, come on, this really takes the biscuit. Sick

Ty for that link. Can't help noticing that style is inversely proportional to helmet wearing.

... contd p98

posted by sidesaddle [70 posts]
5th March 2013 - 21:16

7 Likes

I hope it's a Fizik otherwise I won't be able to understand this.

posted by londonplayer [671 posts]
5th March 2013 - 22:45

6 Likes

He probably tried it just for once found it alright for kicks. Then he found out its a habit that sticks !

posted by nabobofthrob [4 posts]
5th March 2013 - 23:26

4 Likes

nabobofthrob wrote:
He probably tried it just for once found it alright for kicks. Then he found out its a habit that sticks !

Those stains on his jeans will take some explaining to his mother Wink

Simon_MacMichael's picture

posted by Simon_MacMichael [8040 posts]
5th March 2013 - 23:36

7 Likes

Always happens on a wednesday but the rozzers can't be bothered to put surveillance in place for one day? they tell the papers instead. Also as it says in the report there is a school close by so worringly she or her bike may not be the target of this perverts actions.

FATBEGGARONABIKE's picture

posted by FATBEGGARONABIKE [584 posts]
6th March 2013 - 9:58

6 Likes

What makes you think there's human involvement? It's the bike trying to reproduce. Bikes are taking over the world (see Daily Mail for further information). She's a lucky girl to be the Chosen First One. Mwa ha ha haaaaa

posted by bikeylikey [164 posts]
6th March 2013 - 10:28

6 Likes

That revoshift grip in the pic has me thinking - better grip more control, stronger stroke - ok stopping now!! Blushing

posted by bfslxo [118 posts]
6th March 2013 - 11:50

7 Likes

ha ha wonderful. You couldn't make this stuff up, priceless!

posted by Karbon Kev [677 posts]
6th March 2013 - 12:59

7 Likes

Well, it's Wednesday. Eagerly awaiting updates. Has the saddle-spaffer been back in action?

posted by andyp [863 posts]
6th March 2013 - 13:44

6 Likes