Karmarama limerick compo: the shortlist!

Which is your favourite? Vote! VOTE!

by Dave Atkinson   November 13, 2012  

ridesmart

Well the judges have pored over you entries (thanks very much for being so creative, and also rude, and funny) and narrowed the Karmarama limerick competition to a last eight. The quarter finals, if you you like. Except there won't be semi-finals or anything, just this.

Easy to vote: just comment below with the number of your favourite. One vote per user. We'll count them at tiffin time and the winner gets some socks. Deal? Deal.

Limerick 1

There once were some Nu Meeja hacks

Who equated dead cyclists with twats

But with failure to charm

They prevented no harm

And they mostly got up people's backs

Limerick 2

A half-witted latter-day Barley

Hatched an ad campaign wrecked up on Charlie

"Single-speed's SO last week

Now it's all retro chic

You should check out my 70s Raaaaleigh"

Limerick 3

You don't need those Uzis and Colts

You murderous van-driving dolts!

Run over a bike!

As hard as you like!
'
Cos it's always the cyclist's fault

Limerick 4

When idiots do their campaigning

They dent the compassion remaining

Sensationalist vulture

This heartless blame culture

But all their good karma is waning.

Limerick 5

There was an ad agency called Karma-something or other

Who appear to be a bunch of knobs

I'm not very good at limericks

How many lines are there meant to be?

Ah, 5 apparently, thanks Google.

Limerick 6

An adman from trendy Shoreditch

Came up with the following pitch:

'It's the riders, we'll claim,

Who are mostly to blame

When they're hurt - because life's just a bitch.'

Limerick 7

In the battle between car and bike,
Karmararma gave invective a hike.
Their position was shameless -
"The car driver is blameless".
Twats? Check the mirror, more like.

Limerick 8

Karmarama decided to try
To help stop our cyclists die
Dreamt up a campaign

Did not engage brain
Said sorry and ate humble pie.

36 user comments

Latest 30 commentsNewest firstBest ratedAll

5

Last night I would have considered trading a very loud baby for a really nice bike.

posted by notfastenough [3446 posts]
13th November 2012 - 12:49

3 Likes

#1

If we did AV:
#8 for greatest amount told in least words and runner up for #7

posted by pk1234 [3 posts]
13th November 2012 - 12:51

6 Likes

5, genius!

I assume the article's author is exempt, but his entry made I larf.

'twas an ad firm designer's ass-hattery
to blame road deaths on just cycle twattery
but he's taken the rap
'cause his rhyming was crap
let's just say that he's no tony slattery

posted by Mr Agreeable [151 posts]
13th November 2012 - 12:54

3 Likes

5 for having the courage to do a non-rhyming limerick Big Grin

Did Nightrider 2013 and 2014 for Parkinson's UK. Might just have one last go in 2015.

jova54's picture

posted by jova54 [628 posts]
13th November 2012 - 12:54

5 Likes

7

theclaw's picture

posted by theclaw [75 posts]
13th November 2012 - 12:56

8 Likes

4

then 8 in the AV system. They are the only two that actually follow the rules of a limerick (being an irritating pedant...)

Special mention for 5 though.

posted by Paul99 [17 posts]
13th November 2012 - 12:57

1 Like

Also 7

@rich22222

posted by rich22222 [135 posts]
13th November 2012 - 12:58

1 Like

2 FTW

Simon_MacMichael's picture

posted by Simon_MacMichael [8471 posts]
13th November 2012 - 13:02

5 Likes

7 for me, but I'm surprised this one was left out

awkward wrote:
Karmarama decided to act,
But neglected to check any fact,
Their humour's a crime,
Their limericks don't rhyme,
They really are a bunch of wankers...

Gkam84's picture

posted by Gkam84 [9028 posts]
13th November 2012 - 13:49

5 Likes

1. 3
2. 5
3. 1

Edgeley

posted by Edgeley [191 posts]
13th November 2012 - 13:53

4 Likes

Not on the list, and not even a limerick, but mingmong's effort was my favourite:

mingmong wrote:
Roses are blue
Violets are red
Mix cycling with twattery..
And you'll be dead.

posted by lows100 [22 posts]
13th November 2012 - 14:23

3 Likes

#5

posted by djb123 [86 posts]
13th November 2012 - 14:28

9 Likes

7 for me with 5 a close second!

andybnk's picture

posted by andybnk [94 posts]
13th November 2012 - 14:40

3 Likes

I like 3!

posted by MattT53 [129 posts]
13th November 2012 - 14:46

2 Likes

2

posted by Alan Tullett [1465 posts]
13th November 2012 - 14:50

6 Likes

It's got to be 5!

posted by SevenHills [151 posts]
13th November 2012 - 15:24

2 Likes

Number 8.

posted by talmeym [3 posts]
13th November 2012 - 16:40

6 Likes

3

Sir Velo

Raleigh's picture

posted by Raleigh [1733 posts]
13th November 2012 - 16:45

2 Likes

number 7

Whenever I see an adult on a bicycle, I have hope for the human race - H.G. Wells

posted by roghino [2 posts]
13th November 2012 - 17:06

3 Likes

1 then 2 then 5

posted by lady_luck [2 posts]
13th November 2012 - 17:29

2 Likes

Numero uno!
1

posted by McTag [40 posts]
13th November 2012 - 18:23

3 Likes

number 3 for me.

posted by kevarino [23 posts]
13th November 2012 - 19:34

4 Likes

#5. Made me laugh out loud Big Grin

posted by mrsminx411 [86 posts]
13th November 2012 - 19:50

2 Likes

Number 6. 'Cos I wrote it. (Is that ethical?)

Also, it's the best. Although actually number 2 is quite good.

Noli porcum linguere

captain_slog's picture

posted by captain_slog [280 posts]
13th November 2012 - 19:51

3 Likes

okay, voting's over. i make that

1 and 5: 7 votes each
7: 5 votes
3: 4 votes
2: 3 votes
4: 2 votes
6 and 8: 1 vote each

So that's a pair of socks each to Mr Agreeable and Mountainboy, if i've got it right. get in touch chaps!

Dave Atkinson's picture

posted by Dave Atkinson [7492 posts]
13th November 2012 - 20:11

0 Likes

I'm with GKam, Dave left the best limerick off the shortlist.

Tony Farrelly's picture

posted by Tony Farrelly [4160 posts]
14th November 2012 - 8:04

1 Like

5. it might not be summing up sentiment towards the campaign, but is comedy gold regardless.

posted by Rvizzle [97 posts]
14th November 2012 - 10:12

3 Likes

#5, but without the "legit" limericks for context, it wouldn't be funny.

posted by TheBigMong [218 posts]
14th November 2012 - 17:39

1 Like

Karmarama's crap
Not deserving a response
But here's a haiku

posted by TheBigMong [218 posts]
14th November 2012 - 17:49

3 Likes

Whoo Hoo!

I'd just like to thank my public.

Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...

posted by Mountainboy [74 posts]
15th November 2012 - 12:12

4 Likes