Last time we looked the opening ceremony for the Olympics was 25 million billion zillion pounds over budget. Doubtless in a couple of week's time the great and the good will get round to telling us that the closing ceremony needs a metric buttload more cash throwing at it too, lest the world (which, as we keep being told, will be watching) decides it's unimpressed.
If we want to have a great closing ceremony, London 2012 should take a leaf out of Malaysia's playbook, According to Malaysian news agency Bernama, Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak will close the 15th Malaysia Games tomorrow by cycling around Stadium Darul Makmur.
Joining Prime Minister Najib will be his deputy Tan Sri Muhyiddin Yassin, several Cabinet ministers, heads of contingents and cycling gold medal winners.
"It will continue with performances by 2,000 dancers, fireworks display and many more," said Malaysia Games chief executive officer Ahmad Hairi Hussain, oh yes AND they've got a comedian too.
Imagine the London equivalent: Dave Cameron and Boris Johnson wobbling round Olympic Park (they both ride bike after all) with Britain's triumphant cycling team for company and, if we must, whichever Johnny Foreigners have managed to sneak medals in the track events nobody cares about (omni-whatnow?)
It'd save a fortune on all that Danny Boyle hoopla, while still fulfilling the essential Olympic ceremony objective of making anyone watching who knows what's going on cringe with embarrassment. Result!
After an unpromising start, having to be bribed by her parents to learn to ride without stabilisers, Sarah became rather keener on cycling in her university years, and was eventually persuaded to upgrade to proper road cycling by the prospect of a shiny red Italian bike, which she promptly destroyed by trapping a pair of knickers in the rear derailleur. Sarah writes about about cycling every weekend on road.cc.