Get Jens Voigt on your phone!
The Jens Voigt soundboard comes to Android, and you can play with it on the JVA website too...
Some things make us happy, and one of those things is Jens Voigt. There's no way you can't love his all-or-nothing, what-you-see-is-what-you-get attitude, and some his many aphorisms are now available to inspire you when you're out on your ride, assuming you took your Android phone. Or you can just have a chuckle in the office.
The Jens Voigt Soundboard is brought to you by Jens Voigt's Army, who describe themselves as "a somewhat serious semi-competitive unprofessional cycling athletic pursuit concern dedicated to being as un-douchey as possible".
It goes on, too: "We're just like Jens, but not as fecund. We believe that our rides should accompanied by stenographers rather than photographers... our primary goal in the cycling world is this: Ride hard and don't be a jerk."
Their website is full of interesting and amusing stuff (you should definitely check out their European site...) but the Jens Voigt Soundboard is the highlight, with Jens quotes ranging fromt the famous ("Shut up body and do what I tell you") via the philosophical ("I get paid to make other people suffer on my wheel") to the downright bizarre ("All it takes is like five Astanas get attacked by a bear in the mountains...") and is worth five minutes of anyone's time.
As well as that there's a Soundboard Android app that costs $1, which is a small price to pay for having Jens with you at all times of the day. Enjoy!