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Video: "My name is Penis Head" — meet Britain's sweariest driver

Motorist caught on camera delivering torrent of abuse after roundabout incident

Sometimes helmetcam riders get talking to drivers who’ve done stupid things and the conversation goes no further than a simple apology, albeit often followed by “mate, I didn’t see you”. But sometimes, despite being clearly in the wrong, a driver will go right off the deep end anyway, like the chap here who we’re going to call Mr Penis Head, since he says that’s his name.

It’s one of the few repeatable things he does say and you’ll want to turn down the volume if your workmates have tender ears.

In the video, the rider who goes by the YouTube handle Urbane is crossing a roundabout at what appears to be the end of Harbourne Gardens in Southampton.

As the rider approaches the first exit from the roundabout, Mr Penis Head, driving a Jaguar with stickers and logos enters the roundabout. The rider sounds his horn and after the driver stops and reverses into the roundabout a full and frank exchange of views follows, with Mr Penis Head delivering most of the frankness.

In his comments on YouTube, Urbane says: “I thought I was pretty diplomatic, considering the circumstances” and we tend to agree. Here’s how it went down in his own words:

Parental Advisory... Excessive swearing, aggressive behavior and stupid driving.

This rabid loon is called, by his own admission, Penishead Cockfacedcunt ;-0 although it said Mark on his sticker.

He is probably an inspirational figurehead and a fine representative for PowerSlideRides (logos and his name conveniently plastered all over his XJS), but I fear he may have had a tad too much high octane go-go juice in his veins, when he nearly ran me over this morning. Perhaps he had been drinking diesel instead of petrol that morning.

I hit my horn, as a warning, before the car is even on the roundabout, and (despite what he says) you can see that I am easily half way across before the car rips past, narrowly missing me on my bike.

He screeched to a halt and reversed round the roundabout (!) to confront me for having the temerity to honk my horn at him. But he soon scuttled back into his vehicle when I was not intimidated by his shiny piston shaped head and aggressive swearing.

I thought I was pretty diplomatic, considering the circumstances, if he had just said sorry everything would have been quickly forgotten. But now, I'm going to let the viewers decide...

Who do you think is being aggressive?  3

While Mr Penis Head doesn't manage the sheer delivery speed and quantity of expletives of the previous holder of the title of Britain's Sweariest Driver, we think he makes up for it with a wider range of creative abuse. Coincidentally, or perhaps not if you believe that the car you drive says something about your personality - both of the potty mouthed protaganists drive Jags.

We should point out that although the car in this video clearly displays the name, phone numbers and website of a business that doesn't necessarily mean that the driver is associated with those phone numbers - and as the business in question has so far proved uncontactable the true identity of the driver cannot be verified - except that he goes by the name of Penis Head. 

John has been writing about bikes and cycling for over 30 years since discovering that people were mug enough to pay him for it rather than expecting him to do an honest day's work.

He was heavily involved in the mountain bike boom of the late 1980s as a racer, team manager and race promoter, and that led to writing for Mountain Biking UK magazine shortly after its inception. He got the gig by phoning up the editor and telling him the magazine was rubbish and he could do better. Rather than telling him to get lost, MBUK editor Tym Manley called John’s bluff and the rest is history.

Since then he has worked on MTB Pro magazine and was editor of Maximum Mountain Bike and Australian Mountain Bike magazines, before switching to the web in 2000 to work for CyclingNews.com. Along with road.cc founder Tony Farrelly, John was on the launch team for BikeRadar.com and subsequently became editor in chief of Future Publishing’s group of cycling magazines and websites, including Cycling Plus, MBUK, What Mountain Bike and Procycling.

John has also written for Cyclist magazine, edited the BikeMagic website and was founding editor of TotalWomensCycling.com before handing over to someone far more representative of the site's main audience.

He joined road.cc in 2013. He lives in Cambridge where the lack of hills is more than made up for by the headwinds.

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192 comments

Avatar
userfriendly replied to Harry_J | 9 years ago
1 like
Harry_J wrote:

I do not feel that cyclists can absolve themselves of all responsibility for accidents if they do not take all possible steps to ensure it especially given that even if they do the chances are some idiot in a car will take them out anyway....

Again, you're not making any sense. None. What is this sentence supposed to say, really? Do you even know what you mean?

It tries stringing the following segments together:

Harry_J wrote:

I do not feel that cyclists can absolve themselves of all responsibility for accidents

Harry_J wrote:

if they do not take all possible steps to ensure it

Harry_J wrote:

especially given that even if they do the chances are some idiot in a car will take them out anyway....

And it fails horribly. Technically, this is an English sentence. But it makes no sense. Do they, or don't they take all possible steps? That's an either-or proposition - and yet in both cases they are responsible for getting wiped out? What?

I think you're full of shite, you have no clue how to argue your point, and your actual point really is "get off my road, or it'll be your own fault if I run you over". Isn't it?

Good job, "Harry" (Mark). Good job.

Avatar
andybwhite replied to Harry_J | 9 years ago
0 likes
Harry_J wrote:

oh and this is the email I got.....

On 18 Jun 2014, at 14:55, andy wrote:

From: andy Subject: [your-subject]

Message Body:
I see you are connected with the guy in this news article – do you really think this is wise?
http://road.cc/content/news/121405-video-my-name-penis-head-—-meet-britains-sweariest-driver

--

Firstly, I am astonished that this thread is still going on. As I said before, I got bored with the deeply unpleasant nature of the posts from some of the contributors on here. You are an embarrassment to the majority of the cycling community.

Harry_J, I don't understand why you have stayed on so long. It seems to me that you have tried to engage in a philosophical debate about cycling safety which is separate from the original issue about the standard of driving displayed by Mark Angliss. Unfortunately you are debating with people who are incapable of understanding that and thus respond with abuse - much in the way that many testosterone fuelled drivers do when challenged about their driving standards. Forums such as this are the wrong place to have that sort of debate as they are inhabited by people who have a fixed viewpoint and won't explore anything outside of that. I'd be happy to have that debate over a pint. but that ain't gonna happen.

Secondly, it was I who invited you to view this video. I similarly invited as many of Mark's contacts as I could find from my sleuthing, as I am sure some of those would definitely not want to be associated with such behaviour. I actually thought that you would be the least likely to engage given the nature of your business, but bravo to you for doing so. All I can say is, surely you must have better things to do. I did receive replies from others that Mark claims to be involved with and perhaps the knock-on effect will cause him to rethink his behaviour in future.

I'm aware that I'm sticking me neck out here as I'm probably traceable and so could attract repercussions from either Mark (Mr Penishead) or some of the idiots on this forum for being too kind to you. But hey, I think I've taken the right stance ... and its a common name.  1

Now I really do think this thread has run its course.
Bye

Avatar
Harry_J | 9 years ago
0 likes

Andy,

Thank you for clarifying that, much appreciated.

I agree this thread has run it's course which is a shame as it actually does debate a very important set of points.

I can understand why at first glance you thought we might not engage but if you dig deeper (which i sense you may have done already) you will find that our ethic is about having fun in safety, driving in appropriate locations and respecting our surroundings.

As I eluded to earlier with my comments about Dunsfold - we are the 'driving force' behind a large scale charity event that benefits children with acquired brain trauma - a high percentage of which come from RTA's so I am very well acquainted with the dangers cars present on the road - I'm one of those that tries to assist those who have suffered from them.

When i say large scale i mean Chris Evans turned up yesterday as he did the year before, last year we had 12,000 people through the gates across 2 days and this year we think it will be more...This morning i am truly shattered.

It's sad that people can no longer accept things at face value, i've not tried to pretend i'm something i'm not or that i am right all the time, but it seems that every opinion voiced needs to be proven before it is even considered, i guess that's just human nature based on experience in this era.....Andy you said it much better than i did.

I have learnt a lot (as i said a long time ago) I was hoping for a more pleasant debate that focussed on the issues at large instead of focussing my sentence construction but C'est la vie, n'est pas?

Once again Andy thank you for proving to me that i'm not completely nuts about receiving your email ( was starting to wonder for a moment)

To everyone else, please stay safe I wish you well.

Avatar
jova54 replied to andybwhite | 9 years ago
1 like
andybwhite wrote:
Harry_J wrote:

oh and this is the email I got.....

On 18 Jun 2014, at 14:55, andy wrote:

From: andy Subject: [your-subject]

Message Body:
I see you are connected with the guy in this news article – do you really think this is wise?
http://road.cc/content/news/121405-video-my-name-penis-head-—-meet-britains-sweariest-driver

--

Firstly, I am astonished that this thread is still going on. As I said before, I got bored with the deeply unpleasant nature of the posts from some of the contributors on here. You are an embarrassment to the majority of the cycling community...............................

..................Now I really do think this thread has run its course.
Bye

Oh, I don't think so. Not while that nice Mr Harry J is trolling his rubbish and the likes of his acquaintance, Mr Mark (Penis Head) Angliss, are still lose on the road.

It's got a long way to go yet.

Avatar
Harry_J replied to jova54 | 9 years ago
0 likes
jova54 wrote:
andybwhite wrote:
Harry_J wrote:

oh and this is the email I got.....

On 18 Jun 2014, at 14:55, andy wrote:

From: andy Subject: [your-subject]

Message Body:
I see you are connected with the guy in this news article – do you really think this is wise?
http://road.cc/content/news/121405-video-my-name-penis-head-—-meet-britains-sweariest-driver

--

Firstly, I am astonished that this thread is still going on. As I said before, I got bored with the deeply unpleasant nature of the posts from some of the contributors on here. You are an embarrassment to the majority of the cycling community...............................

..................Now I really do think this thread has run its course.
Bye

Oh, I don't think so. Not while that nice Mr Harry J is trolling his rubbish and the likes of his acquaintance, Mr Mark (Penis Head) Angliss, are still lose on the road.

It's got a long way to go yet.

 4

Brilliant, just brilliant.

Andy, I wish you luck with the people on this forum.
You know the best thing about other peoples kids?

You can give them back.

 3

Avatar
userfriendly | 9 years ago
1 like

And finally, I get to 'meet' the person speaking for "the majority of the cycling community". Hi there!

It's funny how the two of you complain about people being "unpleasant" while at the same time showing the exact kind of behaviour yourselves that you claim to be too mature for. Know what that makes you? Twatwaffles. Of the particularly dumb and full of themselves kind. I'm certainly not above insulting people if I feel that it's deserved. And, evidently, neither are you - but unlike me, you claim you are when you're clearly not. That is what I would call "unpleasant".

It's jolly nice nice of you, Andy, to finally come forward. Why not earlier though? A lot of the suspicion could have been avoided that way. Especially given the way that Harry here seems incapable of sticking to a specific version of his story, just like he seems incapable of sticking to a specific version of his arguments. First the email address was "false", then he changed this to "decided not to put the email address it was sent from". I don't think anybody here could possibly be blamed for finding his story a tad hard to believe initially and even more so afterwards, until you came along and confirmed at least parts of it.

And Harry, you still haven't answered the question posed to you, by me and at least two others in this thread, what the heck makes you think that a cyclist who takes all possible precautions, riding defensively and carefully, fully abiding by the rules of the road, is somehow still to blame for being wiped out? You were not particularly coherent in this regard before, maybe you want to try again?

Avatar
FluffyKittenofT... | 9 years ago
1 like

I'm sorry that some comments here got into a spiral of rudeness. It really doesn't help anybody (but it is an ever-present temptation to go that way in these sorts of arguments). And I do think that casting doubts on the story of how Harry_J came to post here was a bit unnecessary (and not relevant to the topic anyway)

But, Harry_J, while polite, has stuck to a totally fixed-position, which is simply incorrect.

Take the following statements:

"there are bad drivers, there are bad cyclists, they all cause accidents, angst and trauma."

At attempt at equivalence which is just flat-out factually wrong. The bad drivers cause far, far more trauma than the bad cyclists.

" i'm saying cycling is dangerous"

Again, wrong. Cycling isn't dangerous - its the driving that brings the danger to the situation. Its that old transitive/intransitive distinction again.

" why not learn to co exist with motorists? you will not change the fact they are human so why try?"

This just comes across as patronising, and also misses the point. Almost all cyclists who stay on the roads have had no choice but to 'learn to co-exist with motorists', but it doesn't keep them safe because at least a substantial minority of drivers just won't learn to co-exist with cyclists. (Incidentally, my experience is that most 'bad cyclists' don't deal with motorists at all, because they stick entirely to the pavements).

And I agree we can't change the fact of drivers being normal flawed humans, which is why, in my opinion, we need better infrastructure to improve our chances against those humans with weapons (who behave in the way humans always do when they have weapons). Better law enforcement would help as well though.

"cyclists as the vulnerable should take on the mindset that being in the right does not keep you safe. "

Again - that just comes over as patronising, as everyone here already knows that from experience. Anyone taking up cycling on the roads will learn that very quickly. And again, its why things need to change.

What annoyed me initially was your (Harry_J)'s claim that there's an equivalence, that 'bad cyclists' are exactly equivalent to 'bad motorists' in both numbers and effect. A lot of drivers seem to think that and it is just nonsense on stilts.

Avatar
OldRidgeback | 9 years ago
0 likes

And as I've pointed out as well Fluffy, by far the majority of adult cyclists are drivers also.

Avatar
srchar replied to Harry_J | 9 years ago
1 like
Harry_J wrote:

I assume you were in earnest re your 355 ownership, is it a GTS, GTB or spider? and in all honesty do you know what was happening at Dunsfold today?

I'm a car nut, so it's a manual GTB, of course. Am aware of the charity event at Dunsfold but didn't want to show up Chris Evans' LaFerrari with my Capristo.

I really don't think we know eachother, by the way.

Avatar
hood replied to carlosjenno | 9 years ago
0 likes

the mind shift people go thru is power.
as soon as you give someone a motor they are more powerful, and some people want to exert that power.

examples:

car driver is annoyed and cyclists slowing them down, they are impeding their power.

truck drivers bully car drivers and everyone else because they are biggest.

busses push out in front of cars and taxis.

tax drivers have more experience and are bigger than a lot of cars to push in front of them.

a cyclist gets on a bike and is faster than a pedestrian, sometimes they exert that power over them and shout at stupid pedestrians crossing the road or being idots

.. so, i think, generally speaking, its a food chain thing, everyone wants to give s**t to the weaker person below them! its not right, but generally its true

Avatar
Ashley Hill | 5 years ago
0 likes

<p>Is this thread still open after 4 years?</p>

Avatar
hawkinspeter replied to Ashley Hill | 5 years ago
1 like
Ashley Hill wrote:

Is this thread still open after 4 years?

No. No it isn't.

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