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Landowner urges riders tackling Tour de France route to use proper toilets

A farmer in Yorkshire who found a naked cyclist defecating in his field says that riders tackling the route of the Tour de France should ensure they use proper toilets and not the countryside.

According to the Westmoreland Gazzette, when the farmer confronted the cyclist, who had stripped off his Lycra clothing prior to going about his business, the man promised to come back and clean up his mess, but has failed to do so.

The newspaper says that details of the incident, which happened in Wensleydale, were first revealed on Facebook by the farmer’s wife, who said:

This morning we watched a man on a cycle race come into our field, strip completely naked and use our field as a toilet. Leaving the evidence together with the paper!

Kids thought funny and can't wait to tell everyone at school tomorrow. My husband didn't find it quite as funny as it is in a field he is about to silage.

My husband went and spoke to the bloke and apparently he is coming back later to clean it up. We are very excited about the race but can the people using the route not spoil it and please find REAL toilets. Rant over.

The farmer subsequently said that he had seen something unusual in the field and used binoculars to get a better look.

"There was a man naked after taking his one-piece Lycra suit off squatting down and doing his business,” he recalled.

"I went down and had a word with him. First of all he denied it but I thought: 'You cheeky sod - we've just seen you'.

"He said he was going to come back and clean it up. I took a photo of him - he'd got dressed by then - and told him that I'll pass it to the police and let them sort it out if he doesn't come back.

"I think the chance of him coming back is pretty slim though," he added.

The farmer revealed that to add insult to injury, the spot the cyclist had chosen for his makeshift latrine was the very one from where he and his family planned to watch the Tour de France pass by. He said they would now find another vantage point.

It’s not the first toilet-themed controversy we’ve covered this year. In April, UK Cycling Events, which organises the Wiggle New Forest Spring Sportive and other events in the national park, said it would ban 18 riders from its events for breaking rules including urinating by the roadside rather than in the portable toilets it provides.

The previous month, five junior cyclists participating in a race in Belgium received fines for urinating on the Menin Gate in Ypres, a memorial to British, Irish and Commonwealth casualties of World War One.

Born in Scotland, Simon moved to London aged seven and now lives in the Oxfordshire Cotswolds with his miniature schnauzer, Elodie. He fell in love with cycling one Saturday morning in 1994 while living in Italy when Milan-San Remo went past his front door. A daily cycle commuter in London back before riding to work started to boom, he's been news editor at road.cc since 2009. Handily for work, he speaks French and Italian. He doesn't get to ride his Colnago as often as he'd like, and freely admits he's much more adept at cooking than fettling with bikes.

44 comments

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Scoob_84 [384 posts] 2 years ago
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well that's a little less silage required in that area of the field.

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jova54 [668 posts] 2 years ago
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Some people just don't get it. Obviously not a New Forest rider or road.cc user.

He was lucky he wasn't shot for 'scaring the sheep'.

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bikebot [2149 posts] 2 years ago
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Hang on... "together with the paper"!

You mean he planned ahead for this little accident?  19

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Joeinpoole [444 posts] 2 years ago
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I see an unfulfilled market for bungs ... preferably carbon for the serious cyclist.

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Dapper Giles [69 posts] 2 years ago
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Scoob_84 wrote:

well that's a little less silage required in that area of the field.

Silage is hay or some such moist fodder for cattle they store for winter.
I think you're confusing it with slurry. You don't feed cows poo.

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SevenHills [216 posts] 2 years ago
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Maybe he was called Ted and was just trying to sort out the drainage in the lower field?  39

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timfearn [40 posts] 2 years ago
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That's effing disgusting - he should do what surfers do and soil his skinsuit.

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Gkam84 [9092 posts] 2 years ago
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I have made contact to see if we can acquire the picture to shame the cyclist into an apology  1

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giff77 [1258 posts] 2 years ago
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timfearn wrote:

That's effing disgusting - he should do what surfers do and soil his skinsuit.

Or carry a ziplock bag, especially if he took time to carry bog roll
When I go hill walking and end up staying out overnight I carry a zip lock bag with me and carry the stuff off the hills with me as you are meant to do. There are some popular routes around the country that have human waste left and it's totally gross.

Of course the easiest solution is to have a dump before you leave for your ride.

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Scoob_84 [384 posts] 2 years ago
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Dapper Giles wrote:
Scoob_84 wrote:

well that's a little less silage required in that area of the field.

Silage is hay or some such moist fodder for cattle they store for winter.
I think you're confusing it with slurry. You don't feed cows poo.

Thanks for clearing that up. Cows shouldn't be eating poo  31

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bikebot [2149 posts] 2 years ago
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giff77 wrote:
timfearn wrote:

That's effing disgusting - he should do what surfers do and soil his skinsuit.

Or carry a ziplock bag, especially if he took time to carry bog roll

Just in case anyone now has a mental image of someone trying to poo into a sandwich bag, you can buy specific odour resistant and erm... absorbent bags for the purpose.

They tend to be popular with festival goers, which is easy to understand if you've ever seen the bogs at Glastonbury.

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giff77 [1258 posts] 2 years ago
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Haven't done Glastonbury. But some of my memories of other festival bogs were that of a plank of wood with a hole cut into it suspended above a huge pit lined with industrial tarp.  31 31 31 Slurry tanks were brought in to drain the offending mixture.

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pants [239 posts] 2 years ago
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WE WANT TO SEE THE PICTURE

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OldRidgeback [2662 posts] 2 years ago
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giff77 wrote:
timfearn wrote:

That's effing disgusting - he should do what surfers do and soil his skinsuit.

Or carry a ziplock bag, especially if he took time to carry bog roll
When I go hill walking and end up staying out overnight I carry a zip lock bag with me and carry the stuff off the hills with me as you are meant to do. There are some popular routes around the country that have human waste left and it's totally gross.

Of course the easiest solution is to have a dump before you leave for your ride.

Yep, not always possible to avoid having to take a dump but it isn't that hard to be prepared as I was always taught in the scouts. He could've gone behind a bush and saved the farmer an unfortunate sight too. Farmer Giles has every right to be annoyed in this case.

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farrell [1950 posts] 2 years ago
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giff77 wrote:

Haven't done Glastonbury. But some of my memories of other festival bogs were that of a plank of wood with a hole cut into it suspended above a huge pit lined with industrial tarp.  31 31 31 Slurry tanks were brought in to drain the offending mixture.

Glastonbury's Long Drops are truly a sight to behold. Huge pits filled with everything. Drugs, phones, keys, passports, money. You're not getting it back once its landed down there.

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aslongasicycle [385 posts] 2 years ago
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As any parent knows, IT IS ONLY POO. If you've never had another person's poo on or near you, you're either childless, or going to the wrong parties.

Nobody ever had the squits cycling? You're not trying hard enough/eating enough gels.

I wrecked myself dashing around Ireland. On the fourth day I had spasms as though the Four Horsemen were upon me. It was enter Dublin to greet my wife covered in squits or find a bushel. So I found a bushel. And some nice wipey leaves.

Matt Stephens has got caught out too. Poo is the great leveller. Ask The Queen (don't).
http://www.vulpine.cc/Blog/bikes-tech/matts-musings-1

Nature can catch us unawares. Especially if you're pushing Nature's limits. Its a little unfair (actually its bullying) to try and uncover the identity of someone who is probably (and rightly so) mortified. Keith, be nice, use your time for good, not evil.

Though my argument is somewhat undermind by the presence of toilet paper........ Maybe he has 'issues'.  31

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Some Fella [890 posts] 2 years ago
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Farmer objects to human pooing in field that he has either set aside for animals to poo in or that he is going to dump loads of chemicals in at some point to increase yield?
Farmers = custodians of the countryside and fucking hypocritical Tory badger killing scum.

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langsett [35 posts] 2 years ago
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Lot's of points of concern, lady farmer's description of 'race' could be sportive or anything? and whilst not condoning , it is a fact that many Councils are closing public toilets and in the dales there are big gaps between settlements where one might find anything open?

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levermonkey [680 posts] 2 years ago
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Some Fella wrote:

Farmer objects to human pooing in field that he has either set aside for animals to poo in or that he is going to dump loads of chemicals in at some point to increase yield?
Farmers = custodians of the countryside and fucking hypocritical Tory badger killing scum.

It's a silage field! You know, winter feed for livestock. It ain't going to have animals in it, neither is it going to have loads of chemicals put on it to increase yield. Silage is basically a mixture of green hay and molasses.  40

Anyway how would you like it if I came round and laid a curly-wurly in your garden. Think about it.  39

He's lucky. Most of the farmers round where I grew up carried two 'special' shotgun cartridges. They had the shot replaced by rock salt. Didn't do any long term harm but it stung like a b**t**d!  20

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Steen397 [1 post] 2 years ago
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Some Fella wrote:

Farmer objects to human pooing in field that he has either set aside for animals to poo in or that he is going to dump loads of chemicals in at some point to increase yield?
Farmers = custodians of the countryside and fucking hypocritical Tory badger killing scum.

Silage is cut grass that's then fermented to use as winter feed for cattle or sheep - nobody wants the animals we go on to eat consuming human excrement. It can contain all kinds of pathogens that we absolutely don't want in the food chain, like tapeworms and antibiotic resistant bacteria. So the farmer has every right to be peeved.

Plus Yorkshire isn't really a big TB area so your views on the badger cull are irrelevant here.

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Matt eaton [742 posts] 2 years ago
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To be fair to the rider, I'm going to assume that he didn't go out with the intention of crapping in a field. Most of us would rather use a proper loo if one is available and I'm sure that this guy is no different, even if he does prefer to bring his own choice of clean-up materials.

I've been forced to take a couple of wild poos in my time and I can say with some certainty that it's a last resort. Cycling is one of those activities where you can find yourself a long way from a real toilet. I hadn't heard of the bags designed for the purpose before now. Maybe worth considering, although the prospect of carrying 'leavings' in my jersey pocket alongside my food makes me a little uncomforatable.

edit: I've just had a look online at these bags and it looks like they would not be practical for cyclists due to the way they work. They appear to use a powder that expands into a gelly when wet and I honestly think that a used one would be too big to carry in a jersey pocket. They look like they might be a useful thing to have on-board for touring though.

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nicholassmith [92 posts] 2 years ago
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There's so many crap jokes here they write themselves.

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rorymcclelland [9 posts] 2 years ago
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I'd just like to point out that not all badgers vote Tory.

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surly_by_name [410 posts] 2 years ago
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I have always been suspicious of blokes in skin suits.

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Flying Scot [921 posts] 2 years ago
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I'm still bemused at the paper though!

If you must, use the bag you keep your phone in and throw it in the next bin.

Always go before you leave.....it less weight to lug around!

Or one of these ? http://road.cc/content/review/121010-cycloc-loop

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Dapper Giles [69 posts] 2 years ago
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Some Fella wrote:

Farmer objects to human pooing in field that he has either set aside for animals to poo in or that he is going to dump loads of chemicals in at some point to increase yield?
Farmers = custodians of the countryside and fucking hypocritical Tory badger killing scum.

Those 'custodians of the countryside and fucking hypocritical Tory badger killing scum' grow the food you eat.

Unless of course you grow all your own produce yourself.

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banzicyclist2 [299 posts] 2 years ago
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Take a dump before you set off, and if in any "doubt" take a dump at the first toilet you come across. Having a crap in a farmer fieldis just not on. What sort of impression does it make for the rest of us?

I'd mad as hell if I was the farmer, it's just not on. Making a promise to clean, then buggering off and leaving it says everything you need to know about this character.

TDF in Yorkshire should leave a good impression, thus sort of thing totally undermines the organisers hard work  14

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freespirit1 [247 posts] 2 years ago
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Just a quick question to all those who think this is highly amusing.

If someone took a dump on your drive/front garden/doorstep would you be happy about it?

If it is not acceptable on your properties, why is it acceptable on somebody else's?

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Northernbike [229 posts] 2 years ago
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this incident happened near leyburn and was in my local press. people may have either sympathy for the rider or antipathy for the farmer but this is my local patch and there is a local contingent of moaners here complaining about the tour coming: road closures, road repair priorities being directed to the race route, school closures on the friday before the race, and groups of cyclists tearing through their villages riding the route so people doing what this man did on private land, in the open, and not in a particularly remote area where there aren't cafes and pubs to stop (this is yorkshire, not alaska) does not help those of us who live and ride here all year round in our relationship with our neighbours, not does it do much for the image of the tour itself

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bikecellar [268 posts] 2 years ago
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TAM'S MUCKLE TURD.

Intae the wids amongst the trees.
Tam bared his erse, his cheeks to ease.
Nae sinner hud his breeks gan doon.
Than shitty flees were swarming roon.
Intae the wind he bared his baws
And from his erse a big keech faws.
The reek it curled amoungst the trees.
‘twis enough tae make the birdies sneeze.
An’ a’ the bees on bended knees,
Got sick a fricht o’ Tams big erse.

Big Tam wis in awfy pain.
It came oot his erse like a nine pund wean.
Thur wis a tear faw fi’ his eee
For a bigger shite you’d never see.

Big Tams erse wis raw an sair.
Says big Tam I’ll shite nae mair.
Yonder it lay amoungst the grit.
A dirty stinkin’ muckle shit.

Yonder it lat si saft, si fresh.
Nae een, nae teeth, nae brains, nae flesh.
I swear it never drew a breath.
Tams Muckle Turd.

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