Support road.cc

Like this site? Help us to make it better.

The ubiquitous Carlton Kirby

An old chestnut, I know but... Argh! Why is Carlton Kirby determined to ruin my procycling enjoyment?! The man is everywhere. I cannot understand how he keeps getting work. To listen to his commentary is to hear a man drowning - the guesswork, the misidentifications, the tedious Partridge-esque turns of phrase, the needless shouting that does not inject excitement in the final... The way he 'wings it' reminds me of those psychic charlatans doing 'cold reading'. Anyone else would be preferable. Anyone. There are many other commentators who actually know what they are talking about. His co-commentators often sound embarrassed. I know I am. He makes watching almost unbearable. As each new race starts I pray it won't be him but increasingly often I am disappointed.  20 Sorry for venting but thanks for listening. I couldn't hold it in any more. Hearing his voice in the opening seconds of tonight's Dauphine coverage finally sent me over the edge  14

If you're new please join in and if you have questions pop them below and the forum regulars will answer as best we can.

Add new comment

65 comments

Avatar
Him Up North | 9 years ago
0 likes

At the start of the '14 season CK wasn't on much, seemingly benched in favour of Declan Quigley and Rob Hatch. Now he seems over-used, I have to say. I like the guy, but if I've heard the phrases, "business end of the race," or "that's not a grin, that's a grimace" once apiece I've heard them a thousand times. And now he seems to have been given a partner in grandiloquence in the shape of Matt Stephens. While Bri Smith or Sean Kelly temper CK's verbosity, Stephens tries to match him platitude for platitude. I'd like to hear Quiggers and Magnus B call more races.

Avatar
Roberj4 | 9 years ago
0 likes

Wish David Harmon was back his commentary of the men's Worlds RR which Cadel Evans won was superb. He is sadly missed hope he recovers from his illness.

Avatar
ruffest | 9 years ago
0 likes

As mentioned above I believe David Harmon is ready to work again but has not been given the chance as yet. A couple of his recent tweets:

@spokesmen Thanks all once again for your messages. I'm ready to work behind the mic. It's not my call anymore if I do

@spokesmen Thank you for all the questions about @EurosportUKTV. I have not been booked for any commentary on the channel

A real shame if they are overlooking him. Especially if it is in favour of Carlton Kirby more often than not. Even more especially in his time of need after giving them many years good service.

Avatar
Meaulnes | 9 years ago
0 likes

I don't dislike CK as much as some, but he seems to forget he's broadcasting, and screams "WOOOAHHHHH!!!!" too often instead of telling the viewer what's actually happening. Commentating is incredibly difficult, especially for hours at a time but so many commentators seem to have a fear of silence. Sometimes just shutting up and letting the images speak for themselves is the best thing.

Avatar
Metjas | 9 years ago
0 likes

with CK the sprint for the line starts to climax with about 15k to go.

He just doesn't have the knowledge and race insight that's required to cover the big races, how many times does he get corrected by his co-commentator? Let's remember he gets paid to do this, so I'm not interested in how difficult it may or may not be, there are commentators who do a far better job, so let's have them (back), especially David Harmon.

If I manage to find another feed of a race without CK, then I always switch from Eurosport.

Avatar
amc654 | 9 years ago
0 likes

Kirby is an imbecile. His commentary is horrendous and shows an overwhelming ignorance of tactics, and he consistently misidentifies riders (even when he manages to name a rider's name at all, rather than just calling the team name). He pretends to provide expert commentary, but he has less knowledge than your average club racer. Kirby covers the sport as a MAMIL -- there's absolutely no way anyone would put up with a dippy five-a-side player calling games for the Premier League, so I'm not sure why we have to put up with the equivalent for cycling coverage on Eurosport.

For my part, I'm a huge fan of Rob Hatch (and the new inCycle show he hosts on Sky Sports is fantastic). And both Dan Lloyd and Matt Stephens are excellent. Real insight and detail.

Avatar
WolfieSmith | 9 years ago
0 likes

Carlton's part of the show. He's in the grand tradition of David Coleman - famously sent up on Spitting Image "Oh no!!! I'm already hysterical with three laps to go!!!' I can't sustain this level of excitement!!!!!' He's also reminiscent of Murray 'pants on fire' Walker.

He's a foil for ex racers who sometimes don't have the delivery and emotion. Backstedt was awful when he started. He's improved. Stephens is good. Kelly was awful to start with and said bugger all. Now his problem is talking over the action. What Kelly says is always spot but very few have his knowledge - including all those wittering on about how poor they think Kirby is. CK is the first to admit when he says something daft and turns to see Kelly rolling his eyes.

In an ideal world we'd get to listen to a few of you commentating next to Sean Kelly on a pro race. Gawd how I'd love that...  21 You'd be out of the trailer on the tip of Kelly's boot before the first feed stop.  4

Avatar
Stumps | 9 years ago
0 likes

Ooh, the "time to pull up my sofa and become an expert on commentating" brigade are out in force.

Him and Kelly were brilliant together and long may it continue.

Avatar
keirik | 9 years ago
0 likes

"Race X was completely ruined because Y was commentating and he knows nothing about 'my' sport, and I'd be much better"

feel free to fill in the blanks with your preferred nadir.

Personally I don't mind who's commentating as they all bring something to the table, and not all of us can identify a rider by the particular scar on their left knee that they got when they fell over on corner p, in stage q of the 2001 tour of Barnsley

Avatar
Leviathan | 9 years ago
0 likes

Shut up. Shut up! SHUT UP!
What is wrong with you people, leave the man alone. So you don't like his style, write to Sky or Eurosport or whoever. Are we going to see this fossil thread again in 2015 when this person is still employed? Just leave it.  102

Avatar
crazy-legs | 9 years ago
0 likes

So everyone on here could do better could they? You could sit there for up to 6 hrs at a time, race radio in one ear (probably in French) and your producer in the other ear; 2 or 3 TV monitors in front of you and a co-commentator alongside and you could not only talk knowledgeably about all aspects of road racing including equipment, teams, tactics, the rider roster for that race, the potted history of each rider, some gems of information about the area they're riding through but you could also pass all that on to the viewers (who of course vary from your die hard know-it-all racer to complete newcomers to the sport) ideally with some humour or banter thrown in as well while also reacting instantly to all the crashes, attacks etc that happen live during the race.

Great, I'm sure Eurosport would love to see your résumé.
Personally I like Carlton, I think he does a generally very good job. Rob Hayles is well worth listening to as well, he often does Radio 5 Live commentary.

So long as its not Hugh Porter or Phil Liggett...

Avatar
Metjas | 9 years ago
0 likes

I must surely be missing something, but I've paid to watch cycling on Eurosport and therefore I'm perfectly entitled to sing their praise when I feel it's deserved, just as I feel I can criticise a commentator not up to the standard expected. And I don't need to be a better commentator myself, why should I? If you are dissatisfied with the quality of a dish/wine in a restaurant, do you want to be told that if you can't cook it/make the wine better yourself then you have no right to criticise? The cook works in unbelievably stressful conditions/ it's hot/ long nights etc.

If you like CK, so be it; if you don't, you're stuffed! At least for the time being  1

Avatar
Rob Simmonds | 9 years ago
0 likes

He's bloody awful. I might ditch my Eurosport Player sub and go back to pirate feeds from Sporza. Their chaps might be just as crap as Carlton, but as it's in foreign I won't know or care.

Avatar
ruffest | 9 years ago
0 likes

I see there is there is now a petition to bring back David Harmon:

http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/bringbackharmon

Avatar
praveshkumar796 | 9 years ago
0 likes

I like to watch my favorite TV show Bigg Boss in the free time  10

Avatar
Eebijeebi | 9 years ago
0 likes

Really like listening to him even if sometimes the cycling version of Murray Walker.

Avatar
MandaiMetric | 7 years ago
0 likes

If Carlton would cease endlessly chuckling at his own humourless puns, perhaps I wouldn't find his commentary so grating. IMHO he also comes across as a bit overly excited by UK riders and Team Sky. He does like a good whinge too (don't we all) - particularly about motorbikes - I wish he'd concentrate on the race, and less on the perceived imperfections in the periphery. I can only imagine the woe if he'd been commentating Baggio interfering with Nibali on yesterday's Giro mountain time trial, or the Tinkof team car getting stuck in the way of the unfortunate Gazprom rider midway up the climb.

Haven't heard much of Rob Hatch, was he on the ITV TdF Podcast last year? I found that way too much "lads on tour" - I think they may have been drunk when recording it. Chris Boardman doesn't have a voice for radio - give me The Cycling Podcast every time. 

Off topic, but I was living in the US during the peak US Postal & Armstrong TdF years, they used Liggett/Sherwin for commentary, but had their own pre/post race coverage team - now that truly was unwatchable jingoistic triumphalism.

I concede bike race commentary must be tough, 4+ hours every day, sometimes with only 15 minutes of true action to actually comment on.

OT, but both are still both are infinetly preferable to the like of Danny Mills commentating on football. 

Maybe I'm just a grumpy git  1

Avatar
stenmeister | 7 years ago
0 likes

One thing that I like about Rob Hatch is that he is better than most at pronouncing European names, both places and people, as they should be. 

 

Avatar
flyingpitman | 7 years ago
0 likes

I don't like either of them.Rab Hotch and his adjee jeez eer,tomma leclere pele tin,he may well be right with adjee jeez eer but everyone else say's AG2R It's confusing for the neutral fan.I have also had to learn all riders names again  1  but turn sound down when the screaming banshee is on.Also his obsession with Cadel Evans was awful.Even when Evans wasn't racing kirby got in a frenzy about him.So I guess hatch beats him.

David Harmon was very good.I like to hear Sean Kelly and Magnus Backstedt as colour commentators .Matt Stevens is ok too.I prefer Declan Quigley to either of the main commentators.Shame about Harmon,he and Sean had a good rapport.It's a hard job and we all have our favourites and they cant please all of us.If like me you don't enjoy the commentator turn the sound off.

 

Talking of Tomma lecleer does anyone else think he looks like the late Robin Williams,just by the faces he pulls.

Avatar
flyingpitman | 7 years ago
0 likes

That may be right,but I am watching on British Eurosport  3  where the rest of the commentators say AG2R .For non cyclist's watching they won't have a clue.

I lisetened to him at last years Tour of Britain,he kept saying Prood Hoe (Prudhoe) the locals were shouting it's Prudd Oh.He didn't listen.Like I said you cant please every one all the time.Oh I forgot Greg Van Aver A mart or as the rest may say Avermaet.I always laugh when I hear Sean Kelly as he doesn't mince his words."Valverde is lying turd"He ended up 2nd  1  

I prefer commentators to add to the racing,and not make it about themselves,turns his grannies back to the wall for the incoming.

Avatar
Cachao replied to Leviathan | 7 years ago
0 likes

Leviathan wrote:

Shut up. Shut up! SHUT UP! What is wrong with you people, leave the man alone. So you don't like his style, write to Sky or Eurosport or whoever. Are we going to see this fossil thread again in 2015 when this person is still employed? Just leave it.  102

 

As it's 2016 I'd like to bring up this fossil thread and ask: who's worse, Rob Hatch or Carlton Kirby?

Avatar
stenmeister replied to flyingpitman | 7 years ago
0 likes

flyingpitman wrote:

I don't like either of them.Rab Hotch and his adjee jeez eer,tomma leclere pele tin,he may well be right with adjee jeez eer but everyone else say's AG2R

I think the French say it correctly as well

Avatar
pjay replied to Cachao | 7 years ago
0 likes

Cachao wrote:

Leviathan wrote:

Shut up. Shut up! SHUT UP! What is wrong with you people, leave the man alone. So you don't like his style, write to Sky or Eurosport or whoever. Are we going to see this fossil thread again in 2015 when this person is still employed? Just leave it.  102

 

As it's 2016 I'd like to bring up this fossil thread and ask: who's worse, Rob Hatch or Carlton Kirby?

 

Simple: Kirby is still an expert in verbal diarrhoea, Rob Hatch is excellent. I can't understand why Eurosport still use Kirby when they have a roster of  much better commentators they can call on.

Avatar
Joelsim | 9 years ago
0 likes

I like him. Find him funny.

Avatar
Martyn_K | 9 years ago
0 likes

Kirby is not bad, and i quite like it when commentators have to scramble a bit to get a correct fact. It shows that they are human and not just reeling off scripted guff.

Think about how tough it is to get things right, especially early in the season.
Riders changing teams. Teams changing kit. Teams changing sponsors. Riders changing equipment according to new sponsors.

So you have to identify someone when they have their most distinguishing features covered (hair with helmet/ eyes with glasses). And you are trying to identify them from ever changing camera angles from either long distance air shot or an unsteady motorbike view that is constantly being cut to a picture of some 15th century castle.

Avatar
s_lim | 9 years ago
0 likes

Carlton's a knob, but he's quite amusing. I can't listen to Matt Stephens though, his reedy voice drives me insane. Big Maggy is the best of the Eurosport bunch by a country mile.

Avatar
Colin Peyresourde | 9 years ago
0 likes

I like Carlton. I think they all do a good job of a tough job.

Avatar
Carlton Reid | 9 years ago
0 likes

There are too many Carlton's in cycling.

Avatar
mooleur | 9 years ago
0 likes

Tell you who is really good, though, who's done a bit for ES recently - Rochelle Gilmore - genuinely great to listen to, her passion comes out in her commentary it's ace.  1

Avatar
mooleur | 9 years ago
0 likes

Every time he say's Pete Kennaugh's name he says it wrong in a different way.

Possibly the most annoying thing to ever happen to anything ever. >.<

Pages

Latest Comments