Best way of attracting female cyclists

by Andybris   April 12, 2013  

I Witnessed a novel approach last night in Richmond Park. A guy was riding past a girl, with no hands on the bars, and doing upper body stretches! Sadly for him, the girl on the bike was unimpressed, and totally ignored his display of bike skilfull bike handling.
At this point he noticed us approaching, and sadly decided to put a bit of an effort in to stop us passing and show off his strength. Again he failed miserably.

If you're reading this my friend, please try something new, as the chances of you having sex ever again are very unlikely

10 user comments

Oldest firstNewest firstBest rated

What an Amateur!

We all know the way you attract female cyclist is by drawing a knob in chalk on your left thigh. Bum pinch is optional.

posted by farrell [1943 posts]
12th April 2013 - 16:37

1 Like

Nothing says "good girl" like a firm pat on the buttocks...

...or so my Dad tells me. Nerd

davecochrane's picture

posted by davecochrane [130 posts]
12th April 2013 - 17:02

1 Like

I find treating them NO different to male cyclists doesn't work, they just think I'm gay..... Surprise

Gkam84's picture

posted by Gkam84 [9361 posts]
12th April 2013 - 17:48

1 Like

Sounds like you're all playing hard to get, but would really like him to call you....
Day Dreaming

posted by Colin Peyresourde [1620 posts]
12th April 2013 - 18:10

1 Like

Pretty straightforward solution:
1. Remove lycra.
2. Go to passtime no. 2, beer.

Clothes put on between 1 and 2 is advisable.

[custom] '12 Cannondale CAAD10 - Rival

badkneestom's picture

posted by badkneestom [134 posts]
13th April 2013 - 0:22

1 Like

"If you're reading this my friend, please try something new, as the chances of you having sex ever again are very unlikely"

That's a bit harsh. Those arm exercises are bound to come in useful...


Simon_MacMichael's picture

posted by Simon_MacMichael [9501 posts]
13th April 2013 - 0:42

1 Like

The one guy I've seen riding regularly at Richmond Park always surrounded by pretty girls is Nasty Nick from Big Brother first series.

Make of that what you will!

posted by Veronique [4 posts]
17th May 2013 - 16:10

1 Like

Pheromone spray: Apply it very liberally, a whole can, and then ignite it, your screams should attract the attention of females. It could also kick in their mothering instinct well that or the smell of cooking bacon as your flesh burns might make them hungry and even the veggies can warm up their lentil soup on you. Good luck with the ladies. Wink

cidermart's picture

posted by cidermart [493 posts]
17th May 2013 - 16:57


A mini pump down the front of your shorts?

posted by Welsh boy [255 posts]
23rd May 2013 - 21:03

1 Like

One nice chap challenged me to hop on behind him when overtaking me after Elephant & Castle, which I did (impressively considering it was about 12am, he was pretty nippy, and my bike isn't the poshest) and my rear light promptly fell off as I went over a drain crater, meaning I had to stop and rescue it. I like to think it might have been true love had the roads been a little better...

chrisl's picture

posted by chrisl [48 posts]
29th May 2013 - 17:42

1 Like