How about this for a change ?
Come on, enough of doping and helmets, let's try this.
We have all been there - form seems to be right, feeling good, conditions right - it bodes well for a new PB on that local TT event.
We set off, and it just doesn't happen. A disapointing time and it felt like a struggle all the way.
Reach for the bag of excuses, in which we find what we beleive is the true reason for a poor performance.
I ate too late - Blimey that headwind made it tough - Had some trouble shifting - etc etc etc.
But what's the best or funniest you have heard ?
Come on - bale in.
I haven't really heard any. Just my own LL Sanchez moment, about to start, two rotations and PING, the chain snapped. 
Mate got stuck behind an old bloke on a trike that he couldn't overtake because of traffic. Not much piss taking went on 
The old man on the trike was backed up by other independent people but it didn't stop us.
I could hear a tractor on my 30 seconds, my holder says; this will probably be the slowest 10 you've ever done.
Comes past on my 5 and I get into it MASSIVE slipstream, draft it for half the way and use the tailwind on the way back.
CLASSIC.
[fictional] Excuses though...
Mismatched Bidons forced me to only carry one, and I got dehydrated so had to turn back early.
Worried about my white bartape becoming grey so only cycle in dry weather.
I'm on my taper.
My coach says to take an easy week.
I'm a recovery ride specialist.
My bike was too clean/dirty/heavy/red/blue to ride today.
Sir Velo
Loving the tractor story - I got stuck behind one coming home where I try and nail it the short distance from the lights up onto the mway bridge. I thought, well that's never going to be a quick time, but it turned out to be a PB.
Mismatched bidons are definitely a good excuse.
I'm faster in my spinning class.
My tyres need pumping up.
Wrong type of chamois cream?
If the bicycle was invented tomorrow, it would be seen as the solution, not the problem
I'm sure I fitted carbon pedals before leaving.
Horse chestnuts.
Bombarded by them during strong winds yesterday - good reason to wear a helmet 
and slowed by the spiky husks all over the road.
Another one could be the rabbit's head.
Out with my friend's dad who said that he got a clean cut.
NICE 
Sir Velo
Ewww.
If the bicycle was invented tomorrow, it would be seen as the solution, not the problem
Bloody traffic going too slow; and then had to stop at the roundabout, Bloody Traffic!
Actually started too quickly and blew half way round.
In Richmond Park you can always get away with claiming there were deer on the road.
Or you got chased by Fenton.
In Richmond Park you can always get away with claiming there were deer on the road.Or you got chased by Fenton.
Or maybe a London-Dynamo Rider got in your way.
Singletrack MTB mag
road.cc on YouTube
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