Clarkson Gag

by MercuryOne   March 26, 2012  

Clarkson in the Sun last week suggested that rather than privatise roads cyclists should be made to pay £50 'road tax' a year and have the licence 'tattooed' on their faces.

Surely this is incitment to hatred or at least contempt and he can be tackled with a legal
warning? It sounds like frantic bleating I know - or Jezza would suggest it as such - but he's being paid by us, making extra money from all his moron books and after dinner speaking based on his BBC job which we all pay for.

I was cut up twice yesterday and spat at once - on a Sunday on clear roads and I believe there is a strong link between the rise in contempt for cyclists and Clarkson's ongoing comments Would he be allowed to say pensioners/ women / Muslims etc needed tattooing to share the road? No . But they've got press and numbers to work with... Oh hang on...

He's a bully and he needs a sharp 'no' from lawyers at News International and the BBC. He's not going to get that without pressure from us.

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At the end of day, he offends many people, it's got to the point where he couldn't be taken seriously if he wanted to.

Being cut up and spat at is obviously bad news, but I think that's more of a general attitude from drivers being delayed for whole (shock-horror!) milliseconds.

In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice, but in practice...

posted by notfastenough [3705 posts]
26th March 2012 - 10:40


Not nice experiences. Had similar plus worse years ago when commuting in London. ( ironically living round the corner from Jeremy at the time and sharing bus journeys with him regularly )

I am not sure you can take anything he says with anything more than a pinch of salt really though.

posted by Super Domestique [1686 posts]
26th March 2012 - 11:15


It doesn't matter that we don't take him seriously - the problem is perhaps 15% of motorists do and Sun readers in particular can't deferentiate between fact and polemics. These are the kind of people who mix paedophilia and paediatrics up so to them Clarkson is promoting open season on anyone in their way - especially cyclists.

I don't want to silence Clarkson - I want to turn him towards the light. Clarkson spouting a 'share the road' message would be invaluable. He's one of those tragic figures like Littlejohn and Bushell - clever men paid to spout moronic reactionary rubbish. He could be saved yet.

I should start the 'OnyerbikeClarkson' campaign. Next year he could do LEJOG for Sports Relief. That would be worth his share of my licence fee. Big Grin

Silly me. You're probably right....

MercuryOne's picture

posted by MercuryOne [1195 posts]
26th March 2012 - 12:00


Hang on, did I just see Littlejohn and Bushell being referred to as intelligent people?

I agree that it's awful that someone can be paid to reinforce bad attitudes towards vulnerable road users, but on the other hand, that's the delight of freedom of the press and opinion pieces. Take the good and the bad with it.

All we can do is be as courteous as we can, accept that some road users are terrible people, and do our best to promote cycling as a healthy and fun thing to do, as well as pushing our councils and whatnot for better provisioning.

posted by bashthebox [762 posts]
26th March 2012 - 12:36


bashthebox wrote:
Hang on, did I just see Littlejohn and Bushell being referred to as intelligent people?.

I know. Sorry. I was being magnanimous.

I agree with all your comments but to paraphrase Stan Lee with great freedom comes great responsibility and the kind of impatience expressed by Clarkson for other road users isn't just a reflection of some drivers attitude but a promotion of it.

I have suggested via Twitter that licence fee payers prompt the BBC to encourage Clarkson to ride LEJOG next year as part of Sport Relief. With enough publicity it'll either make the bugger uncomfortable or actually get him to see a point of view different to his own for a change. #onyerbikeClarkson.

Silly me. You're probably right....

MercuryOne's picture

posted by MercuryOne [1195 posts]
26th March 2012 - 14:31


after seeing Frank Skinner swim 25m (after being unable to swim) as part of sport relief a more realistic target for Clarkson might just be to get his ignorant arse on a bike at all. Maybe the hate all stems from his inability to ride one - who knows?

Anyway, I actually quite like MercuryOne's suggestion. Rather than LEJOG, send him to see some charity project in a country that just happens to have a terrible road accident rate and get him to do a cycle challenge there. I'm sure hilarious events would ensue.

joemmo's picture

posted by joemmo [1094 posts]
26th March 2012 - 15:05


Surely the thread title should be "Gag Clarkson" rather than "Clarkson Gag"?! Wink

posted by veseunr [287 posts]
26th March 2012 - 15:30


He is a complete a**e in my eyes.
He once stated that people should tie piano wire across roads, between trees to silence motorcyclists,,,,, what a demonic mind he has, it can't be 'normal'.

I cannot understand how he gets paid, more fools are his employers. Remember the one recently on the One Show? - tough isn't he,,,, he soon apologised once his employers started to kick his a**e about his big mouth.

It's simple minded morons like this git that can stir up all sorts of trouble.

My apologies but I cannot stand the git....

Phew, rant over.

Trikeman. Wink

Grunt, puff, pant and groan goes the old man - but he gets there in the end. ;o)

trikeman's picture

posted by trikeman [390 posts]
26th March 2012 - 15:42


To be fair to Clarkson he was quoted totally out of context for The One Show. He was being ironic and Fleet St decided to omit the preamble to stir up trouble. Clarkson may have made comments about piano wire - Matthew Paris certainly did and was eventually very penitent for it.

Insulting the silly sod on forums is achieving nothing. He has an audience of millions and we're just some angry blokes on some obscure cycle site ( Sorry Dave and Tony) My bleating just reenforces his stereotype of all cyclists as lettuce munching sanctimonious hippies when in actual fact most of us are motorists and know quite a few petrol heads with road bikes.

I would prefer to work hard to out fox the silly sod, and have him manoeuvered by his employers into doing something on a bicycle for charity and talk about sharing the road in a sensible way. That way he benefits his ego and public image and his appearance fees (it worked for Walliams), confounds critics and we benefit as well as it might relieve the pressure on cyclists from his daft acolytes out there on the road.

He's a media veteran who knows that his latest rant is quickly forgotten by the press. Rather than try to silence him we should be looking at using the media to create an new story he can't control, corner him and turn him to our advantage.

If we could make enough noise with the idea through Team GB, BC and CTC so it gets covered in the press Clarkson will either have to spend some time with cyclists or look anti charity. Maybe The TImes could help.

It would be difficult to say no to a charity ride without looking like a an utter arse and even Clarkson must be getting tired of looking like that surely?

Big Grin

Silly me. You're probably right....

MercuryOne's picture

posted by MercuryOne [1195 posts]
26th March 2012 - 17:11


Try reading this

or this:

and ask whether you really want an apology or whether actually you should put forward your own views, argue your case or even just have a quiet word with Clarkson - he's not difficult to speak to and in private is quite a gentle and thoughtful person.

posted by Sylvanus Urban [11 posts]
1st April 2012 - 7:08