Doughnuts
Heard reports that Contador is unhappy that other than steak, his favourite snack is doughnuts is on the list of prohibited substances. Careful now Alberto, you have to ensure they are kosher to eat. We don't want you failing another drugs test!
Why on earth are doughnuts on the Prohib. Substances list?
Krispy Kremes aren't that harmful are they?
Sir Velo
Apparently, there not, but the management at Saxo Bank don't want him eating them.
You have to be careful using the banned doughnut,a substance of which too many can make a honed athlete like Bertie, compete like a donkey, like me! You could potentially knobble a whole team with enough of them!
Ah, so thats why the Police are always slated on here. According to some members of the public we eat doughnuts on a daily basis hence the poor performance. 
Stumpy
Stumpy that can't be true, I eat all the donuts in our nick and I'm still the only one who perfoms! 
The time of heroes is dead: the christ god has killed it, leaving nothing but weeping martyrs, fear and shame!
Vike - it's because quality matters. Asda jammies are clearly not as good as Krispy Kremes!
If the bicycle was invented tomorrow, it would be seen as the solution, not the problem
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