Commuter grumble

Idiots everywhere. Last night I heard a beer bottle explode behind me and looked sidewards to view a car filled with pissed idiots. Yay great. Took council about 3 months to clean up glass from accident near and motorists don't like cyclists using the big lane rather than roll on glass. Lol.

Fuggin MGIFs everywhere, as I've said plenty of times, some people get out of their cars and are exactly the same selfish twats when they're on a bike. Was cut up twice this week by people with bikes attached or in the back of their motor, people just don't give a fuck anymore.

The only upside is that someone on a bike is less likely to kill or maim you than if they were in a motor, still sodding annoying to say the least though when some selfish wanksplat cuts in on you or moves directly in front of you instead of just waiting patiently.

Queue-jumping. Not very British or civilised, is it. Rules of the road are generally there for good reasons. I'd offer some sarcastic advice when I inevitably overtake them before the next set of lights.

Have you ever thought about doing something that'd help you chill out? They tell me cycling is good for this.

I once overtook a guy (at a not very fast pace, ) then stopped at the next lights (in the box, on the line.) He then cruises past me, across the line and out into the curve of the junction. When the lights change we cross the junction and I have to wait for a few cars to overtake before I can. I said something along the lines of 'why were blocking me off, I've just overtaken you then you jump the lights and block me again, thats just rude...' to paraphrase. I think he was totally oblivious to what he had done. Fluorescent berks; complete I'm-alright-Jack attitude.

I hate it, especially as I have an e-bike and have good acceleration from the lights...

Your best bet is to commute in a flat-bed truck. Slowly bump into the back of the problem bikes until they fall over and then run over the bike so that they can't use it anymore. Then rush off without exchanging details.

In the unlikely event that people have witnessed you doing that and you get caught, just don't bother turning up for any police interviews or court appearances. Oh, it's a good idea to wear a patch over one eye so that you can claim that they didn't see you.

The worst that will happen is you get a 9-month driving ban (which you don't care about as you'll be cycling in future) and have to do some community service (probably quite therapeutic).