Things I would have liked for Xmas

Just sitting at home bored 'cos it's piddling down outside, and I started thinking...always a bad sign.....     For Xmas I would like  :-

1. Inflatable underpants - this would solve all saddle comfort problems. A little more, or less, air to optimise comfort. Or warm water for the cold weather - what's not to like? It may sound silly at first, but when your, er, accoutrements are aching or cold then you'll begin to realise how much it makes sense.

2. R2D2 helmet with a laser - don't ask

3. BB firing brake levers - don't ask

4. Boadicea wheels, I'm seriously thinking of purloining a couple of the wifes kitchen knives....

I'm sure I can get them to work......

5. A jacket with the back completely covered in red led's , enoughto blind the b******d tailgaters.

If anyone thinks this would work via crowd funding, then email me with a donation --I'm skint and it's not Xmas yet !