I'm a road cyclist who uses an Apple computer, so why is it that I have fallen in barely controllable lust with two objects that would seem to fly in the face of everything I stand for?
Like any self-respecting MAMIL I spend a little too much time trawling the internet in search of bikes to long for. The Enigma and Cervélo sites get more than their fair share of attention from me and I'm only slightly embarrassed to admit it.
Which makes it all the more curious that the bike that's got my juices flowing more than any other recently is the pictured Niner Air 9 carbon, a 29-inch wheel hardtail mountain bike.
Those beautifully proportioned lines! The detail! That paint job! I want one now!
But it's a mountain bike...
It doesn't end there though. Oh no. Another new MUST HAVE NOW obsession is the HTC Desire phone. But I embraced Apple and everything it stands for few years ago so it would obviously make sense for me to buy an iPhone when the time finally comes to get with the programme and get a smart phone.
But I don't want an iPhone. I desire the Desire in a way that's borderline inappropriate for a mere phone. I played with one in the shop earlier and it was all I could do to stop myself slipping it into my pocket and legging it.
I fear I may be in the throes of some kind of existential crisis. Perhaps a bike ride will help...