The rules of Sky Bashing (revealed)

by jimmythecuckoo   September 22, 2010  

Team Sky Tour of Britain Squad (credit: Team Sky)

And so as their first moderately successful season draws towards its conclusion a new internet sport seems to be engraining itself on the minds of cycling fans.

"Sky Bashing" seems to be the hip trendy game out there right now. Sort of like a Tamagochi but in this millennium, You can probably even do it on an I-Phone Android, or something.

The rules seem to be quite simple. Hey you can even work for ITV4 and join in. You know what I mean Ned Boulting... your smile when Henderson had a shocker in Swansea and you could keep saying "Team Sky failed to keep the jersey" was a give away.

The aim of the game is to pick the most random fact or bit of information surrounding the team or one of its riders. You then taken that and turn it into a negative point. The more random the fact the more points on offer.

"Bradley Wiggins has a mods haircut" for example has been seen to mean "Bradley Wiggins spends too much time on his barnet and sideburns and doesn't ride his bike fast enough, hence he bombed in July".

So, let the games begin.

I am going with...

"They have too much money, boast about it and turn up in jags" meaning "The poorer funded French teams are riding against the pompous Brits"


Over to you...




18 user comments

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Murdoch owns nearly all the media so they are tired delivering papers every morning


Wooliferkins's picture

posted by Wooliferkins [50 posts]
22nd September 2010 - 14:17


"They have a nice bus", taken to mean "They all get the luxury treatment so they don't have the stomach for the fight and they're out of touch with their fans"

this is fun!


Dave Atkinson's picture

posted by Dave Atkinson [7854 posts]
22nd September 2010 - 14:22

1 Like

"They have really top-end bikes" - meaning that they have no excuse for sucking so badly this year.

mr-andrew's picture

posted by mr-andrew [303 posts]
22nd September 2010 - 14:30


Bradley Wiggins' confession of 'last year was a fluke' - means 'I'm laughing all the way to the bank.'

kittyfondue's picture

posted by kittyfondue [56 posts]
22nd September 2010 - 16:57


"the aggregation of marginal gains" = "we spent a fortune on looking like prats with our record-breaking aero-shorts, top of the line radio comms, mood lighting on the bus, taking our own mattresses wherever we went; we forgot it was all about riding a bike faster than the next guy". The aggregation was zero.

simonmb's picture

posted by simonmb [360 posts]
22nd September 2010 - 17:18


"They bring their own sheets and duvets on Tours" = "They're spoilt mummy's boys"

Oli Pendrey's picture

posted by Oli Pendrey [123 posts]
22nd September 2010 - 17:34

1 Like

I've tried to like to Sky, but it's not been easy. The turning point was the TDF bus clip of some bloke who looked like he'd escaped from a Natwest bank ad waffling on with a "motivational" Powerpoint while Wiggo sat at the back looking like he was warming up for the main stage at Glasto.

posted by Dog72 [108 posts]
23rd September 2010 - 13:27


Well this explains why my thread in the forum got so little response!

Oh well, if you can't beat them and all that.

Special jerseys for TofB = Radioshack are our hero's Wink

posted by Super Domestique [1695 posts]
24th September 2010 - 12:43


"Sky Pro-Cycling Team has no say in whether its team members go to the Commonwealth Games; but we might have reminded them that if they get sick there are thousands more riders waiting to take their place" Big Grin

Done Nightrider 2013, 2014 and 2015 for Parkinson's UK. Next year Ride London

jova54's picture

posted by jova54 [663 posts]
24th September 2010 - 13:13


Do marginal gains confine you to the margins.....

Actually really proud of a Brit team mixing it a bit - feel dirty now Wink

posted by Roadkill [43 posts]
24th September 2010 - 17:54


Never mind Roadkill, having a bit of a dig at Sky is the British thing to do… knocking success. Even if that succes is er, relative… marginal even.

Doh! I'm doing it now

Tony Farrelly's picture

posted by Tony Farrelly [4201 posts]
24th September 2010 - 18:49


"Bradley Wiggins is going through all sorts of agonies now on the slopes of the Tourmalet" meaning "he's simply not good enough for a GC place".

cavasta's picture

posted by cavasta [220 posts]
24th September 2010 - 19:40


'Sky has one of the largest budgets of any cycling team'='They are nearly as overpaid and incapable as the England football squad'

Velotastic !

Too many hills, but too little time.

badback's picture

posted by badback [298 posts]
24th September 2010 - 22:12

1 Like

'We love you guys unconditionally.'

posted by Alankk [132 posts]
25th September 2010 - 8:38

1 Like

"They have lovely new green tops for the tour of britian", Meaning there just like any other pub team who fail miserably in a break or cause a crash through not being able to ride in a bunch - and have to wear different tops for the next few weeks so nobody recognises them while it all blows over...

posted by cheersbigears [8 posts]
27th September 2010 - 7:53


until i saw this article i had forgotten that this was a "Proteam"!

Send me an email when they win something please.

Skippy(advocate for "Disabled / Para Sport")@skippydetour. blogging as skippi-cyclist.blogspot & Parrabuddy.blogspot currently on the road with ProTour Grand Tour Events .

skippy's picture

posted by skippy [409 posts]
27th September 2010 - 11:20


"After their exertions on the road, the riders are able to relax in their state-of-the-art team bus," meaning "although one of their riders won the stage, he gave the post-race press conference a miss." Wink

Simon_MacMichael's picture

posted by Simon_MacMichael [9501 posts]
27th September 2010 - 11:37


"Brad Wiggins took a gamble on the weather in the Rotterdam Time Trial" meaning "How come Murdoch didn't stop it raining - what was he thinking?"

awkward's picture

posted by awkward [62 posts]
1st October 2010 - 17:57