2010 - The season through a crystal ball ... Part 2

by jimmythecuckoo   December 30, 2009  

After "enjoying" part one, here is part two of my 2010 predictions.

July
Naturally the Tour de France sees last seasons Ventoux stage breakaway hero Albert Timmer romp home to the yellow jersey deposing Alberto Contador in a tense last week which sees Bradley Wiggins take third.

Lance Armstrong’s challenge is minimal as age finally catches up with him. Levi Leipheimer and Robert Gesink crash into each other in the neutralised zone of the first stage to futher enhance their reputation for being unable to keep their bikes upright.

In a big surprise Mark Cavendish only takes 11 stage wins. The elusive 12th is given up on the Champs when he slams on his brakes and let’s Andrei Greipel take the win.

The organisers are red faced when Vino wins a stage and celebrates by producing a sword… the UCI introduce a new rule that riders must keep both hands on the bars at all times. JA Flecha again reiterates that he wont do the bow and arrow again.
Sky win a stage when Edvald Boasson Hagen Dazs rides away from the peloton and scores their maiden win in the big one.

August
There isn’t much going on in August expect a few minor classics and lots of holidays. Alberto Contador announces he is going to take on Alessandro Valverde in the Vuelta next month.

Bradley Wiggins says his season is over and that he is taking a rest.

The much rumoured Team Red Bull starts getting linked with riders and Director Sportive Fernando Alonso is quick to try and tie up a deal for Contador. Lance Armstrong tweets that “…having lost the Tour to Timmer, he certainly needs wings.
Bitter? Lance? No!!!

September
This month is all about the Vuelta and the worlds.

Alberto Contador rescues his season by winning the race. Robert Gesink finishes second and Damiano Cunego finally shows some climbing legs to come third.
Alessandro Valverde is arrested by the police for parking his bike on a double yellow in Madrid. A spokesman for Spanish law enforcement says “…we have finally nailed him!!! Albeit for a more minor offence”

Over at the world championships, the Dutch try and control the peloton to give Albert the chance for a great treble. It doesn’t happen and the race comes down to a bunch sprint which sees Mark Cavendish emulate the feat of Tom Simpson and become a British RR champion of the world.

Bloody brilliant! (and Timmer not winning shows this blog isn’t biased!!!).
he time trial is won by 2 hours by Fabian Cancellara.

October
The final classics of the season see Phillippe Gilbert win everything again. Having been rarely sighted since Het Volk he gets his wins in just in time to beat Tom Boonen to the Belgian sports personality of the year for the second consecutive year.
In transfer news Alberto Contador is confirmed as heading to Red Bull. Oscar Pereiro joins them from Astana to add back up.

Team Sky finally sign Mark Cavendish who is replaced at Columbia by a returning Gerald Ciolek.

November
November is proper dull. Nothing much happens as Bradley Wiggins isn’t looking to get out of a contract. As a result he doesn’t attack anyone via Twitter.
 

December
The cyclo-cross season and 6—day season are in full swing. The UCI announce that Vino is having his tour stage win taken off him for an alleged drug offence. He appeals saying he just hadn’t shaved his legs instead of having had a race horses legs grafted on. In a unrelated incident the UK police announce they have closed the investigation into the disappearance of Shergar. ..

 

  • The Cuckoos disclaimer... Please feel free to have a bet on the back of my crystal balls predictions for the 2010 season, but bear in mind that these are a prediction based on no psychic abillity at all and an irrational obsession with Albert Timmer (and sometimes Tony Gibb).So if you lose money don't complain to me... I wont care.