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OPINION

Love and hate

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Climbing hurts... laboured breathing, high heartrate, lactate build-up, so why do cyclists like hills so much?

Clip in, start the Garmin, off towards the bypass.  Easy spinning along the wide roads, I know what's coming, it's 5 miles away, those 5 miles pass too quickly.  Turn off towards the hill, the gilet gets unzipped and sunglasses get put up into the helmet vents, I don't want the hassle of wiping my sweat out of them when I put them back on for the descent.

Out of the big ring and a few clicks up the cassette, take a swig from my bidon and look up at the hill.  The woodland is hiding the switchbacks, it doesn't look so bad from here... maybe it'll be easier this time.  Riding past the Logie Kirk and I click up the cassette again, I try again, there's no more gears left, this is me from here on.  I look down at my heart rate and it's already nudging 160bpm, the steep bits are yet to come. 

Scottish Mur

Into the woods, trying to stay sat as long as possible, it lasts about 25 seconds.  Out of the saddle and the rear wheel slips with the first pedal revolution, the combination of damp asphalt covered in blossom leaves me desperately searching for traction.  Up to the hair pin, the hill flattens off for a few metres, the 25% gradient is over.  Why did it look so easy for the pro's riding a similar gradient in Fleche Wallone?  There's another steep section to come, I'm out of the saddle again, my legs are on fire, my chest is making a terrible wheezing sound. 

Hunched low over the bars, keeping the front wheel down and the Garmin beeps, it's auto-paused... 0.0mph.  The combination of my body and the trees above have blocked the satellite signal.  I sit down again, I don't want any of this data vanishing, every last calorie and pedal revolution belongs to me.  The trees disappear and I'm climbing up to the bottom of Dumyat, I feel like crap.  I get to the junction at the top, still wheezing, legs burning, sweat in my eyes, there's two options: right goes up, left goes down. 

I go left 

I could be sat in the office in 15 minutes, drinking a cuppa.  Riding for 30 metres is enough to make the guilt kick in, I do a u-turn in the road and head back upwards.  The legs immediately start feeling the ascent again, I'll regret it if I turn back though.  Finally the gradient relents and the Garmin is once again showing double figures, my legs still hurt. 

Holy cow!

Round a corner and there's a Highland cow staring at me, stood stock-still in the middle of the road, looking slightly panicked (if cows can look panicked), I coo at it and tell it I'm not going to hurt it.  Christ, its horns are massive!  The pain of the hill suddenly disappears with thoughts of getting a massive horn through my ribs.  Cow safely navigated and I try to get my cadence up again, it's not coming easy today.  Someone's wild camping in a field, it's stunning up here.

Finally to the Sheriffmuir inn, I think of Hercules the Human Bear, I don't know anything about him, I really should watch the programme before it disappears from Demand 5.  Bizarre and fleeting thoughts.

Glasses back on, gilet zipped back up, 53 tooth chainring once again engaged.  Back to speeds that make me feel like I'm achieving something - I once again think of the cuppa I'm going to have when I get to work.  Drop down into Dunblane, dodge the traffic through Bridge of Allan and a warm-down as I ride into Stirling.

Love/hate

I really hate Logie Kirk, I'm not riding it as well as I have done in the past, I need to lose some weight, maybe I need to get a cassette with a 27 tooth cog on it again, I sit at my desk and tap out this blog, my heartrate still feels higher than it should be, maybe I just need to ride it a couple of times a week like I used to... it's got to do me some good, I couldn't hold the wheels of the scratch group at chaingang last Tuesday night, the hills were my downfall... more Logie Kirk for me.

Yeah, I hate it... I also love it.

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47 comments

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seven | 9 years ago
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Love climbing. Was much better at it when I was one of those youngsters with all the spare time in the world, legs like two tree trunks and torso like a twiglet. Now my legs are more like two HP sauce bottles and my torso is more like... an HP sauce bottle. Only conclusion: eat less climb more.

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banzicyclist2 | 9 years ago
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I live in South Lakes, there are hills a plenty and I love them. Not saying I'm any good at climbing. But all the same the satisfaction of getting to the top in one go, and the decending make it all worth it.
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Flat is boring.

Recently on holiday in Crete I hired a MTB, swapped the pedels and went from Stilos up to the Plateau of Linsethi in 38 -40C. Hot, hard but boy what blast on the way down  16

Hills, worth it everytime IMO.

If your in Crete, get up in those mountains its amazing, with loads of tavernas to get a drink on your way round. Made my holiday.

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cyclingcreta replied to banzicyclist2 | 8 years ago
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The cyclists who want to visit Crete can find a lot of tours on this site http://www.cyclingcreta.gr/en/ . You can find tours at the region that You stay and whole Crete. The besthotel for cyclists and active people is Lyttos beach Hotel at Hersonissos, bike center, Olympic dimension swimming pool, full equiped gym, tennis, football, basketball. archery, water sports, slides..... And if you visit Crete with the family no problem spa for the wife and kids club. You can rent a hi quality bike from the bike center cyclingcreta with all the equipment, map and gps and explore the mountains or do a guided mountainbike tours at remote areas of Crete.

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papermaaker | 9 years ago
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Living in the Ribble Valley I can't get away from hills but at least for every one that you go up you have to come down the other side, and we have some great cafes.  21

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giff77 | 9 years ago
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That's The Cobbler. Highly unlikely that MTB's were even used. It's a popular climb/walk from Arrochar and the hill walkers would take great exception to dodging them. Most likely military types from Faslane yomping to the summit and trying to outdo each other.

Agree with Dunks about Applecross. That's one mean b******

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Dnnnnnn replied to giff77 | 9 years ago
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giff77 wrote:

That's The Cobbler. Highly unlikely that MTB's were even used. It's a popular climb/walk

Aye, great hike, not bike [unless you want to get up there at 4am on a clear midsummer morning - don't try the summit 'needle' on a bike though!  21 ]

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Rupert | 9 years ago
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Part of my job description is to find hard hills for cyclists to climb and suffer on and I feel I have succeeded if they have to take the walk of shame on some hills.

Personally though I hate hills but I love to descend fast,  16 most of the time you don't get one without the other.

Cycling is a metaphor for life in so many ways. Put the hard work in and get the enjoyment later.  4 Sadly for many of use the suffering and hard work last much much longer than the fun bits ........such is life.

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Dunks517 replied to Rupert | 9 years ago
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Rupert wrote:

Part of my job description is to find hard hills for cyclists to climb and suffer on and I feel I have succeeded if they have to take the walk of shame on some hills.

Personally though I hate hills but I love to descend fast,  16 most of the time you don't get one without the other.

Cycling is a metaphor for life in so many ways. Put the hard work in and get the enjoyment later.  4 Sadly for many of use the suffering and hard work last much much longer than the fun bits ........such is life.

It's a shame the Tour of Britain will never travel as far as Applecross.

http://app.strava.com/segments/730602
http://veloviewer.com/segment/730602

http://app.strava.com/segments/1244832
http://veloviewer.com/segment/1244832

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Al__S | 9 years ago
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the only time I've been on the Logie Kirk hill has been down- which was "exciting" in a "do my brakes work properly? They better" kind of way. I will have a go at it one of these days when I'm up, but I only took up cycling properly after moving to Cambridgeshire.
Going over Shrerrifmuir, it would be really nice if there was a crossing of the A9 at Greenloaning and Blackford that didn't involve the level of terror that can make an atheist pray.
That climb at arrochar looks like mountain bike territory from photos on google maps

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Crimea03 | 9 years ago
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Lived in Stirling for four years but sadly before I was reintroduced to my bike. I walked up Logie Kirk on several occasions and it's not for the faint hearted!

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Flying Scot | 9 years ago
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I'm a lazy git, who easily settles into a comfort zone, so I don't use a compact chainset and really only train on hills.... tak ma doon....about 10 miles from the kirk, long, with 2 very steep ramps.

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Jack Osbourne snr replied to Flying Scot | 9 years ago
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I've got a triple on my weekend bike because I'm a lazy git that for years was too fat and rarely got out on his bike... I also picked up some Record triple chainsets for buttons.

The granny ring rarely gets oily these days...in Scotland. Last year I did a lot of miles in the mountains of northern Tuscany, but even with a triple 25% was too much after nearly an hour at 10-18%.

Things like the Crow are a nice easy 40/24, and the hills near me on the Southside aren't drastically steeper so I could easily justify a compact... I like the look of my old alloy Record chainset too much though.

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MarkV UK | 9 years ago
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I love this climb too - did it again this morning before work. I know what Sam means about the hate bit though - esp as you pass the Kirk and head up to the hairpin. Definitely gets the heart, legs and lungs going and feels fantastic when you get it all balanced just right so you get to the top knowing you've done the best you could that day. The views from the top are great too - esp if you go over to Blackford on a clear day. Nice writing Sam  1

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Kadenz | 9 years ago
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I used to love running up hills and now I cycle I love cycling up them. I've always prefer that to downhills. Who knows why? I don't.

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edster99 replied to Kadenz | 9 years ago
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Kadenz wrote:

I used to love running up hills and now I cycle I love cycling up them. I've always prefer that to downhills. Who knows why? I don't.

I love them on the basis that there is a long +/ steep descent to come as a result and I love descending very fast. So if it means 80kph+ is coming, I call that a result  1

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userfriendly replied to Kadenz | 9 years ago
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Kadenz wrote:

I used to love running up hills and now I cycle I love cycling up them. I've always prefer that to downhills. Who knows why? I don't.

I'm the same, but I know perfectly well why. My power to weight ratio is better than that of any of my mates (by which I mean to say that I'm a skinny git and they're ... well, they're ... large), so I climb reasonably well. And I'm too chickenshit to go down fast on the other side. They love coasting down the hill while I thrive on going up.

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SamShaw | 9 years ago
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If anyone wants to enter, my club will (I think) be running another hill climb up there again this year:

http://logiekirk.stirlingbikeclub.org.uk/

Also, for you Strava hunters...

http://app.strava.com/segments/914182

Although the fastest results are much quicker...

https://www.britishcycling.org.uk/events/details/79829/Up-The-Kirk-Hill-...

I was a full minute and a quarter behind the winner!

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Quince | 9 years ago
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It's kind of like you've swallowed the earth with your legs. You're at the bottom, there's a period of mad focus, pain and panting -- and then somehow, miraculously, it's over. It's done. It's been swallowed up my the might of one's efforts. And the views are there to prove it.

Knowing you've earned yourself a bag-full of potential energy is also a pleasantly reassuring thing to carry with you.

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madonepro replied to Quince | 9 years ago
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Quince wrote:

It's kind of like you've swallowed the earth with your legs. You're at the bottom, there's a period of mad focus, pain and panting -- and then somehow, miraculously, it's over. It's done. It's been swallowed up my the might of one's efforts. And the views are there to prove it.

And then you roll back down knowing that was the first of 5 repeats...  24

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Martin Thomas | 9 years ago
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Marvellous. Well done.

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notfastenough | 9 years ago
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That looks horrific.

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jova54 | 9 years ago
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I hate hills. I'd rather spend my time spinning along nice flat sections.
I try to avoid them wherever possible, so when I do encounter one and find at the top I've still got a least one cog left on the cassette; that's a result, and the knowledge that I did it without stopping gives me a warm feeling.
I know it will have done me some good, despite the thumping in my chest and the pain in my legs.
But I still hate hills.

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S.Rackers | 9 years ago
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Love a good hill, your description makes me think of Porlock and Dunkery Beacon!

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md6 | 9 years ago
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Because it hurts. And deep down, i think cyclists are slightly (or less slightly in some cases) masochists  21

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Daveyraveygravey | 9 years ago
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"Because it's there"...I enjoy climbing too, although down here on the south coast there isn't much that sounds as tough as the hill the author climbed. Managed three times up Ditchling the other week and am planning a ride over the weekend to get 4 more of the 100 in the SE region. I ride with guys who aren't as in to it as me, and nearly always they take routes that swerve the hills; I'm going to tell them about how much climbing benefits the rest of your riding.
I also like running up hills and going up the off road trails on my mtb. MTB is generally harder, the hills are steeper and the devastating effect of losing traction at 1 mph whilst clipped in add another dimension!

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Doper | 9 years ago
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Poor grammar.  31

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waveydavey | 9 years ago
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It's a cracker of a climb, and a nice write up about it, good job sir.
I sometimes combine it with the Ballengeich Road by the side of Stirling Castle.
Makes a nice 1hr hilly blast.

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munro | 9 years ago
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I love that climb do it loads never easy but the pain is worth it

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farrell | 9 years ago
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Is it not a case of just looking at something, seeing the challenge and thinking "I'm going up there" then feeling proud of yourself when you reach the summit.

As kids it was climbing frames, slides, trees etc, going up hills and mountains on bikes or on foot is just a natural progression.

There's probably some clever link with our past as primates.

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notfastenough | 9 years ago
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Nicely written. People slate Strava, but it's a good feeling to know that your times on your regular hills indicate that your fitness is better than ever.

(I don't currently get that feeling. At all.)

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